hanging my tomorrows on the bones of yesterday

Back in the heyday of Livejournal this went around -- my friend nyyki is revivifying it here. It’s Elf Meme II: Son of Elf Meme! Okay, maybe not that, but we could all use some connection and holiday cheer, right?

Step One:
Make a post (public, friendslocked, filtered ... whatever you're comfortable with) to your journal. The post should contain your list of 10 holiday wishes. The wishes can be anything at all, from simple and fandom-related ("I'd love an icon that's just for me") to medium ("I wish for _____ on DVD")
to really big ("All I want for Christmas is a new car/computer/living space/TV.") The important thing is, make sure these wishes are things you really, truly want.

- If you wish for real life things (not fics or icons), make sure you include some sort of contact info in your post - whether it's your address, or just to ping your DMs, or your bare-faced email address if that’s how you roll - where a Holiday Elf could get in touch with you.

- Also, make sure you post some version of these guidelines in your journal so that the holiday joy can spread.

Step Two:
Surf around your friends list (or friendsfriends, or just random journals) to see who has posted their list. And now here's the
important part:

- If you see a wish you can grant, and it's in your heart to do so, make someone's wish come true. Sometimes someone's trash is another's treasure, and
if you have a leather jacket you don't want or a gift certificate you won't use - or even know where you could get someone's dream purebred Basset Hound
for free - do it.

You needn't spend money on these wishes unless you want to. The point isn't to put people out, it's to provide everyone a chance to be someone else's holiday
elf - to spread the joy. Gifts can be made anonymously or not - it's your call.

There are no rules with this project, no guarantees, and no strings attached. Just...wish, and it might come true. Give, and you might receive. And you'll
have the joy of knowing you made someone's holiday special, which is a great feeling.

---

1. I could use some books to help me think differently about other peoples headspaces. If there’s a book that explained a different type of person to you, I’d like to hear about it. Possibly also to borrow the book?

2. Tea recommendations? Tell me what teas you like, and why. If you are getting rid of a tea that you wanted to like but can’t really deal with, you can send it here, I’m basically a bottomless pit of plant-flavored hydration. *sips tea*

3. When I downsized to move here, I gave away my soul the stencils for messing with my bullet journal and I am now wishing I had not. If you have bujo stuff you don’t use, I am in the market for all of that stuff.

4. I want to start getting rid of some of the Japanese EGL fashion dresses that I have, most of them are an Asian XL or XXL in size. I need an accountability buddy for listing them on LaceMarket or someone to give them to who will love them and take them out of my closet. If you can help with either thing, give me a DM.

5. I could use someone’s brain to pick about how to do website stuff for modern HTML and Wordpress, and especially if you know how to do this for any blind/vision impaired folks. People who can help my friend nyyki navigate doing this for herself.

6. I want That MotherFucker Over There to not be president, so light a candle or whatever that looks like for you. Please.

7. I really need someone to talk to about doing Shadow work who knows their own emotional safety limits. I don’t know how to talk about the wack shit that happened to us when we were kids that made us think we were better off cutting off whole parts of ourselves, while also having to deal with looking out for someone else’s distress and feeling like I have to manage their feelings. The task switching is way harder in that state, and I want people to be safe, but I also need to stay on task with an accountability buddy or something. Idk. Something along those lines.

8. A multitude, a plethora, a veritable cornucopia of different colors of blue paint. I want to do something new to my painting, bc I am bored of it looking like this.

9. I want links to pet pictures. Do you have a pet? I want to see them, and tell you why they look like a good pet.

10. I want you to have good end-of-2025 holidays, and I want to help spread that love around.

---

So, when you see this post a wish list? And let me see what I might be able to help you with.

Hit my DMs for anything, or I’m on Discord as @.flamingsword - yes there is a period before my name.

[Edit: there’s a blank copy to use in the comments]

What is making you smile these days? Create a top 10 list of anything you want to talk about.

1. Getting my car fixed for inspection yesterday, they found an expensive-to-fix but dangerous thing going wrong with the struts. I will soon be much safer on the road, which is good, even if it is money I wanted to spend doing a dozen other things.
2. My people are functioning and doing mostly okay despite The Horrors. Thank you for taking care of yourselves, and me, and each other. It makes me so relieved and proud and grateful to know you.
3. I am doing well at school.
4. Mom and Step-Dad are doing well as far as their physical health, and Mom’s gigantic bruise on her thigh from falling through the hole in the front porch is mostly healed now.
5. Step-Dad washed my car and it’s all shiny and cute again.
6. I am reading a smidge of BatFamily crack again, now that I have a bit of free time, and it makes me smile, giggle, and sometimes meanly snicker at Batman’s expense.
7. The couch-napping quilt is over 1/3 of the way done!
8. I made good progress on fixing Merlin’s stockings during the summer break. They should be ready to send by the end of July. 🤞
9. I have a call to make today to chatter with nyyki about the ten thousand things.
10. I get to talk to Merlin tomorrow night, with any luck.

8. What were this year’s themes, vibes, or big moods?

Divestment. Quiet minds and active hands. Care.

This year I have been pulling my energy out of relationships where I am investing time and effort and not getting reciprocation. I have been making things while listening to music and podcasts. I have been holding onto my people with concern and attention as much as I could get my brain to cooperate with.

Those were my Big Moods.

Writer Ask Game from quill_of_thoth :

Rare writer ask game: name three pieces of media that are not novels / short stories or movies / tv that were formative for you, and tag three people.
( Read more... )
As always, if you would find doing this interesting, consider yourself tagged.

I am too sleepy to continue this but maybe tomorrow.

It's been too long, flist. Let us meme together!

You know the rules.

When you see this, post a poem.
(It can be yours or someone else’s.)

---

Embrace me with your arms, your mind, your smile
Let this disunity retract anon.
I cast away judgmental strife, meanwhile
Nothing frights me like grief that you’ll be gone.
My trauma finds your ire in subtle ways
Like overcompensation and control
Of ev’ry action my tactic replays.
The joke is, there’s a wonderful loophole -
If I’m meant to support you as your friend,
If you’re meant to be free and not reject,
Then those are days I wish would never end.
My grumpy, jumpy ways are incorrect.
Thus hold me with affection most sincere
So I can throw off my disgraced fear.

Feel free to use this version, especially if you have blind friends or friends of friends. Apparently the formatting on the original messes with screen readers.

( cut for length )

runpunkrun prompted panisdead to discuss three of her profile interests. It became a meme, and sometimes the mood just strikes you to do certain interesting memes, you know?

panisdead assigned me:
*ella fitzgerald
*lolita fashion
*uncomfortable conversations

Ella.
How do I explain how soothing and mellow I find her voice? Summertime with Louis Armstrong, April in Paris, in fact the whole of the Ella and Louis album is just golden (Beware: sappy love songs). She is about a third of why I even like jazz. I can't deal with a lot of scratchy sounds like loud snare drums or very screechy sounds like electric guitar, because of the sensory processing difficulties. It doesn't leave a lot of modern music that I can really enjoy without getting overstimulated or headachey. But jazz, especially old 30's-50's "sweet" style jazz - I can listen to that for hours in the background, and a significant percentage of that era is her music, as she was a prolific juggernaut. I can sing along to her music when I want to without feeling like I'm being asked to be happy or dance or do anything high-energy like most of the other music that I like to listen to.

Lolita and J-fashion.
I like playing with gender and presentations, so enough Japanese hyper-femininity to gag a toxic-ly masculine Texan suits me perfectly. I get to wear a fashion that does not encourage people to hit on me (so nice). It shifts the Overton Window toward the weird end of the spectrum, providing protective cover for others who don't fit the dominant paradigm. It also just looked cool to a teen who was a weeb in the 90's when that started to be a bigger thing in America. Soon here I'm going to start playing with masculine looks, if I can both thrift some suits of the right size and manage to save up enough money to afford a tailor.

Uncomfortable conversations.
I don't enjoy having uncomfortable conversations, exactly, but they're an interest of mine. I delight in learning new scripts and ways to have those conversations that are prickly and unsettling. I used to obsessively read Captain Awkward columns, because she dealt with their problems by shifting blame back onto the parties causing the wackness and giving people scripts to help them do that verbally and in their heads. I like talking to some of my IRL friends about how to have strategic conversations that can at least be productive even if they're going to be uncomfortable. Even if I am less good at having those conversations for myself without having a sounding-board to talk to about it. I think that might be one of those things where having an external perspective is helpful.

Further meme stuff: if you want to participate in this via me, if this strikes your fancy, then let me know in the comments and I'll choose three of your interests for you to post about.

If you are looking for more people to read or possibly become friends with, there's a meme for that! --> https://superborb.dreamwidth.org/474581.html

Which led me to the page for muccamukk and from there to the Trans Media Club community, which I am subscribing to. I want to watch people discuss all the things, and chime in when I actually have a thing to say.

Challenge #12

In your own space, resurrect an old meme. Have fun with it! Which is the goofiest meme you can think of? Put on your party hat and be silly!! Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.

Dewey Decimal System meme and some rambling: ( here. )

I am going to take yet another page out of ysabetwordsmith's book and start blogging answers to some of the prompts on how to encourage more meaningful conversation.

I am, however, having decision paralysis like a big dog. Anybody want to ask me one of these or should I just wait 'til my brain starts tracking?
Huzzah! We have a volunteer from the audience! Thank you brightandravenous


5. What’s something you want to do in the next year that you’ve never done before?

I want to dress up like a girl voluntarily, as a way to start exploring gender. I am now comfortable enough in myself, now that i know why it has always been so uncomfortable to hold myself up to other people's standard for my supposed gender, that i can now separate playing with the behaviours from trying to hold myself to that unfair metric. I will be trying out classic lolita fashion. I have a whole pinterest board for this, just wait. There will be pictures and awesomeness.


8. What makes you happy?

Sunsets, perfumes, complicated flavors, not being in pain, making people smile, destroying things what need destroying, and being silly. I have a Good Things List somewhere with all the things that are always soothing and good on it. It is helpful as a self care guide for really bad days when self care can't be therapy and dealing with trauma.


14. What’s some of the best advice you’ve ever gotten?

Watch where people's eyes go. Clock how long they linger on other people and things to guage how much they want that thing or that person's attention. People are made to feel vulnerable and uncomfortable stating their desires, so sometimes if you want to know you can't just ask. Knowing what people want is part of the four part personality metric for behaviour prediction that I was taught by my friend Jenn. It has stood twenty years unchallenged as a great way to know what was going on.