![[sticky entry]](http://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/entry/sticky_entry.png){kind=small}
Things I like to talk about: stuff that I’m curious about or that is counterintuitive, therapy stuff, earworms, kvetching about stuff I'm reading (or, rarely, writing), and occasionally raving about fic recs and links. Sometimes I write out my thoughts-naming meditation or something about my weird brand of secular paganism, but those are pretty rare at the moment.
Comments are welcome here, and I will try to reply unless you are probably trolling. As long as you apologize when you hurt someone then we're cool. If all you want to say is a heart/emoji, that's cool, too! If you need cuts with trigger warnings? Please let me know … unless you want me to trigger warn for parts of my identity like the word “queer”. Just. No. I like having company over and want you to feel safe here, but I have to feel safe here, too.
As someone whose body does not always work like it says on the label, I’m no longer putting processing/whining/complaining about that behind a cut. I saw a tumblr post the a while back that said one reason abled people are so bad at interacting with disabled people is because we’re kept to the margins as much as possible. That folks don’t have to interact with us very often, so they don’t get enough practice to be good at it - and that is to everyone’s detriment.
Fandom stuff: I don’t write on AO3 much anymore, but! I'm currently into DC Batfamily crack, and I bookmark some fun and spicy things! A couple years ago Star Wars ate my brain, but I seem to be doing fine in its absence, so who needs brains, really? The fandoms I'm mostly not in anymore where you may have seen my comments include: The MCU, Leverage, The Witcher, The Good Place, Daredevil, Star Trek: AOS, Smallville, X-Men, Stargates SG1 and Atlantis, Teen Wolf, The Losers, and random comments on your musicals and 80's movies fics. (I will sadly no longer be reading Harry Potter or Good Omens fics, for terrible-people-can-suck-a-lemon reasons.)
If someone on DreamWidth OR AO3 is harassing you or doing you a microaggression, drop me a DM? As a white anti-racist ally, an antifascist, and a person who believes in the power of weaponized empathy, I need more practice having uncomfortable conversations with people who need to be gently informed what consequences their actions may be having for themselves and the people they are (hopefully unwittingly) hurting. Or! I can talk smack about the people upsetting you and write insulting haiku about them until you feel validated and can process the bad-feels. Whatever you need, I'm gonna try to be there for that. I take the bonds of community seriously.
FANWORKS POLICY: I do not give permission for my words or works to be fed into an LLM or AI training of any kind. Other than that caveat, if you want to podfic, remix, translate, make fanart, or in any way transform any of my fan works, you go right ahead! Link me!
I do SPAG and basic beta reading, too. Just PM me.
Therapy stuff to keep track more easily
Aug. 9th, 2025 06:22 pmI have now put all the separate therapy sections under their own searchable tags.
Therapy stuff:
CBT Daily Check in with feelings wheel
Communication,
Anxiety,
Stress Management,
Anger, &
Self-Esteem
Shadow Work.
other things
Shadow Work journaling promptssocial and relational skills,
basic check-in with yourself.
Neurodivergent-friendly DBT
Lots of these are locked posts. PM me or message here if you want access.
Therapy stuff:
CBT Daily Check in with feelings wheel
Communication,
Anxiety,
Stress Management,
Anger, &
Self-Esteem
Shadow Work.
other things
Shadow Work journaling promptssocial and relational skills,
basic check-in with yourself.
Neurodivergent-friendly DBT
Lots of these are locked posts. PM me or message here if you want access.
https://ohandreagibson.tumblr.com/ising:
This is my body
I have weather veins
They’re especially sensitive to dust storms and hurricanes
When I’m nervous my teeth chatter like a wheelbarrow collecting rain
I am rusty when I talk- it is the storm in me
( Read more... )
This is my body
I have weather veins
They’re especially sensitive to dust storms and hurricanes
When I’m nervous my teeth chatter like a wheelbarrow collecting rain
I am rusty when I talk- it is the storm in me
( Read more... )
Train to Derry by Theo Dorgan
May. 24th, 2025 10:30 amA crow beats on the updraft over a scragged hawthorn,
rocked but plunging on. A stick of Paras, bristling with nerves,
coughs and boots forward along the sheugh.
Long after the soldiers have gone, the crows will settle home.
Since Newry, choppers have been battling back and forth
across the track. These trains are overheated, sweat
stings in my underslept eyes; I'd rather the crows' lift and pluck
than to be here, rocked to the quick, driving on Derry.
I often wish, my love, that we were birds, the wide domains
of Ireland at our turn and fall, the world's wind
our natural element - rain, ice, hail or sun our gods,
the tall pines our greenwhip lightning rods.
Tonight there's a horned moon and Venus trailing
low over the Waterside. Tonight let me fold you in my wings,
pray nobody's killed in dark of country or town. We'll settle
the long night in another of our beds, watch what the morning brings.
Been a minute
May. 13th, 2025 04:40 pmI did okay on midterms (I think), bombed a paper that I had not known was due bc it was in the syllabus in the wrong place (…), and got three different vaccines - because I both needed them and wanted to try a piece of internet advice about the covid booster for folks with dysautonomia and possible MCAS.
I took a cetirizine, a Zantac, and a Dramamine an hour before getting the covid booster, another antihistamine at bedtime, and one in the morning the next day. Effect: the day after the shots I was a little tired but not more than a normal day for me, my neck was a bit stiff but not to the point of having a headache, and my arm was sore but could be touched easily and worn long sleeves on. The day after that? I was _completely fine_. So if you have reason to suspect that the covid booster is worse for you than it is for others, feel free to treat yourself like you’re allergic to it.
In other news, my inner teenaged!Heidi is chuffed because guess who has two thumbs and their first gray hair? Yeah, this fully-grown-up adult! I made it, y’all! I made it to damn near 45 and haven’t even wound up in a mental hospital yet! Woot woot!
Plants are happy, most of my people are doing as well as they can be, all political things considered. I, uh. I have been stressed out and not on here much, so if you had a big thing happen and I didn’t comment on the post I probably missed it, and feel free to drop me a link to it in my DMs or whatnot.
In other news: links! The big good news first:
https://neurosciencenews.com/vagus-nerve-stimulation-ptsd-28818/
This is going to take a while to get replicated but should move faster than studying the MDMA method of doing basically the same stuff.
YouTube links behind the cut: ( Read more... )
I took a cetirizine, a Zantac, and a Dramamine an hour before getting the covid booster, another antihistamine at bedtime, and one in the morning the next day. Effect: the day after the shots I was a little tired but not more than a normal day for me, my neck was a bit stiff but not to the point of having a headache, and my arm was sore but could be touched easily and worn long sleeves on. The day after that? I was _completely fine_. So if you have reason to suspect that the covid booster is worse for you than it is for others, feel free to treat yourself like you’re allergic to it.
In other news, my inner teenaged!Heidi is chuffed because guess who has two thumbs and their first gray hair? Yeah, this fully-grown-up adult! I made it, y’all! I made it to damn near 45 and haven’t even wound up in a mental hospital yet! Woot woot!
Plants are happy, most of my people are doing as well as they can be, all political things considered. I, uh. I have been stressed out and not on here much, so if you had a big thing happen and I didn’t comment on the post I probably missed it, and feel free to drop me a link to it in my DMs or whatnot.
In other news: links! The big good news first:
https://neurosciencenews.com/vagus-nerve-stimulation-ptsd-28818/
Summary: A pioneering clinical study found that pairing vagus nerve stimulation (VNS) with traditional therapy eliminated PTSD diagnoses in all participants up to six months post-treatment. The trial combined prolonged exposure therapy with brief bursts of VNS via an implanted device, enhancing neuroplasticity and sustaining remission.
This is going to take a while to get replicated but should move faster than studying the MDMA method of doing basically the same stuff.
YouTube links behind the cut: ( Read more... )
(no subject)
Apr. 23rd, 2025 07:49 pmhttps://www.autisticasfxxk.com/blog/book-review-shadow-work/ There is already a shadow work workbook for neurodivergent folk! Now I just need to get my hands on it.
https://www.whec.com/top-news/buffalo-researchers-create-a-vaccine-to-combat-a-deadly-bird-flu-strain/ Bird Flu (H5N1) vaccine news! Researchers at the University of Buffalo have developed a vaccine that achieved 100% protection in mice studies against a lethal H5N1 bird flu strain!
https://bsky.app/profile/sailorrooscout.bsky.social/post/3lng2fdbw4s2c - Peer reviewed info in this BlueSky thread, but you have to log in.
https://www.livescience.com/health/neuroscience/scientists-hijacked-the-human-eye-to-get-it-to-see-a-brand-new-color-its-called-olo Scientists basically hijacked the human eye to make people see a new color. If your face just did a thing with how much you desperately want to see the new color, then we're wearing the same hat.
( Link to YouTube video of Colossal Squid behind cut )
https://www.whec.com/top-news/buffalo-researchers-create-a-vaccine-to-combat-a-deadly-bird-flu-strain/ Bird Flu (H5N1) vaccine news! Researchers at the University of Buffalo have developed a vaccine that achieved 100% protection in mice studies against a lethal H5N1 bird flu strain!
https://bsky.app/profile/sailorrooscout.bsky.social/post/3lng2fdbw4s2c - Peer reviewed info in this BlueSky thread, but you have to log in.
https://www.livescience.com/health/neuroscience/scientists-hijacked-the-human-eye-to-get-it-to-see-a-brand-new-color-its-called-olo Scientists basically hijacked the human eye to make people see a new color. If your face just did a thing with how much you desperately want to see the new color, then we're wearing the same hat.
"With this technique, the researchers enabled five people to see a new color, dubbed "olo," which the study participants described as a "blue-green of unprecedented saturation." The researchers, some of whom participated in the experiment themselves, described their technique and the new color in a study published Friday (April 18) in the journal Science Advances."
( Link to YouTube video of Colossal Squid behind cut )
5 Wants + Shadow work metacognition
Apr. 20th, 2025 06:58 pm5 Wants + underlying Unmet Needs: ( Read more... )
In shadow work news, either I’m really good at sliding sideways around things that make me uncomfortable, or the people who wrote the Shadow work prompts I’ve been using are way too fucking neurotypical for the way they frame things to be helpful for me. Like, the last prompts implied that I should rate my loved ones on a hierarchy? Which does make me uncomfortable, but for autism-type “my brain doesn’t do that” reasons and not “this is a part of yourself that your past has taught you to disavow” type reasons. I may need to go get a library card and check out some print media on the subject, or just start doing a bunch more thinking about the questions and figuring out whether they can even be helpful or if I need to rewrite them the way I rewrote so much of the cisheteropatriarchy out of the CBT workbook prompts here.
In shadow work news, either I’m really good at sliding sideways around things that make me uncomfortable, or the people who wrote the Shadow work prompts I’ve been using are way too fucking neurotypical for the way they frame things to be helpful for me. Like, the last prompts implied that I should rate my loved ones on a hierarchy? Which does make me uncomfortable, but for autism-type “my brain doesn’t do that” reasons and not “this is a part of yourself that your past has taught you to disavow” type reasons. I may need to go get a library card and check out some print media on the subject, or just start doing a bunch more thinking about the questions and figuring out whether they can even be helpful or if I need to rewrite them the way I rewrote so much of the cisheteropatriarchy out of the CBT workbook prompts here.
Illness and wrecking this journal
Apr. 20th, 2025 05:16 pmI bought a Wreck This Journal at Half-Price Books on Monday because I am trying to find and dig in to the places that are uncomfortable this year, and I figure this might go along with the Shadow work? We’ll see. So far I’m mostly just having a small amount of fun … despite the intestinal wackness.
Bc I’m also sick today. Stepdad’s hour in the bathroom the other day seems to have been a picked up stomach bug from somewhere, and ofc he’s given it to Mom and I. It’s gross, but not actually much more painful or tired than is normal for me. I canceled today’s plans and need to text some folks about stocking up on ginger tea and electrolytes just in case I was contagious yesterday. Most intestinal things are fairly short of incubation period - even if they have a long period of contagion - so everyone I saw before Friday should be safe. But that still leaves a fair few people I’ve seen.
I am not best pleased by this, but it could be much worse, I suppose. I could have been contagious the first couple days here and gotten immune compromised folx sick. That would suuuuuuck.
Hope y’all are having a less crappy day than me, and that you get a Wreck This Journal if you are a perfectionist or afraid of annotating your books, your possessions, or your life. ✌️
Bc I’m also sick today. Stepdad’s hour in the bathroom the other day seems to have been a picked up stomach bug from somewhere, and ofc he’s given it to Mom and I. It’s gross, but not actually much more painful or tired than is normal for me. I canceled today’s plans and need to text some folks about stocking up on ginger tea and electrolytes just in case I was contagious yesterday. Most intestinal things are fairly short of incubation period - even if they have a long period of contagion - so everyone I saw before Friday should be safe. But that still leaves a fair few people I’ve seen.
I am not best pleased by this, but it could be much worse, I suppose. I could have been contagious the first couple days here and gotten immune compromised folx sick. That would suuuuuuck.
Hope y’all are having a less crappy day than me, and that you get a Wreck This Journal if you are a perfectionist or afraid of annotating your books, your possessions, or your life. ✌️
Shadow work post
Apr. 20th, 2025 08:33 am8. What are the three most important relationships in your life, and how have they influenced your beliefs about who you are?
Do people really do this? Like, I get the Circle of Trust exercise where you evaluate between people you tell certain things to, or have certain people you trust with some things that you don’t entrust to everyone. But like, ranking people as most important? Which of your limbs is most important?
I learn things about myself from all of my friends, and keep or change behaviors accordingly. It doesn’t matter whether they’re “most important” to me or not. I know that![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
nyyki, genderjumper, and ot_atma have commented on my behavior and personality the most often, bc I’m around them fairly often and few topics are off-limits from me. Does that make them more important than other folks in my network? *shakes head in consternation*
9. What kind of people do you attract around you?
I attract all sorts of people, really, but only some are welcome to stay. I don’t tend to keep mooches/users around me anymore because now when they make those early asks for things bigger than our friendship warrants I will comment on how our relationship isn’t there yet. Just having the most simple verbal boundary is enough to discourage 90% of the goddamn vampires out there. Mooches don’t like to hear people tell the truth about them to their faces, so any signal that I’m going to tell them stuff their inflated sense of entitlement can’t deal with means that they will export themselves from my life.
Now I need to learn meta-communication skills about feeling alienated from someone, since that was one of the problematic things about my relationship with Ghost, my relationship with Xenoix, … lots of my relationships, both “romantic” and platonic. It’s not that I “attract” aloof/avoidant people, I think I just don’t know how to call out the withdrawal behaviors or know how to ask for things I need but can’t identify in the moment. I might have to go back to doing the “5 wants 5 unmet needs” journal entries soon. Not that I’m planning on starting new relationships anytime soon, but … it’s kind of not fair for me to ask what other people need so that I get to help them and then not let them know how to offer help in return. It’s lopsided, imbalanced, unsustainable.
Gotta fix that.
Do people really do this? Like, I get the Circle of Trust exercise where you evaluate between people you tell certain things to, or have certain people you trust with some things that you don’t entrust to everyone. But like, ranking people as most important? Which of your limbs is most important?
I learn things about myself from all of my friends, and keep or change behaviors accordingly. It doesn’t matter whether they’re “most important” to me or not. I know that
nyyki, genderjumper, and ot_atma have commented on my behavior and personality the most often, bc I’m around them fairly often and few topics are off-limits from me. Does that make them more important than other folks in my network? *shakes head in consternation* 9. What kind of people do you attract around you?
I attract all sorts of people, really, but only some are welcome to stay. I don’t tend to keep mooches/users around me anymore because now when they make those early asks for things bigger than our friendship warrants I will comment on how our relationship isn’t there yet. Just having the most simple verbal boundary is enough to discourage 90% of the goddamn vampires out there. Mooches don’t like to hear people tell the truth about them to their faces, so any signal that I’m going to tell them stuff their inflated sense of entitlement can’t deal with means that they will export themselves from my life.
Now I need to learn meta-communication skills about feeling alienated from someone, since that was one of the problematic things about my relationship with Ghost, my relationship with Xenoix, … lots of my relationships, both “romantic” and platonic. It’s not that I “attract” aloof/avoidant people, I think I just don’t know how to call out the withdrawal behaviors or know how to ask for things I need but can’t identify in the moment. I might have to go back to doing the “5 wants 5 unmet needs” journal entries soon. Not that I’m planning on starting new relationships anytime soon, but … it’s kind of not fair for me to ask what other people need so that I get to help them and then not let them know how to offer help in return. It’s lopsided, imbalanced, unsustainable.
Gotta fix that.
To Read List
Apr. 18th, 2025 02:20 pmhttps://www.goodreads.com/book/show/60139504-how-to-keep-house-while-drowning
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/23719305-how-emotions-are-made
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/182505705-saving-your-rainforest-mind
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/60320428-the-shadow-work-workbook
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/56269264-the-dawn-of-everything
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/29363252-conflict-is-not-abuse
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/23513349-milk-and-honey
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1006428.The_Artist_s_Complete_Guide_to_Facial_Expression
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/235466.Someday_This_Pain_Will_Be_Useful_to_You
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/23719305-how-emotions-are-made
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/182505705-saving-your-rainforest-mind
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/60320428-the-shadow-work-workbook
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/56269264-the-dawn-of-everything
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/29363252-conflict-is-not-abuse
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/23513349-milk-and-honey
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1006428.The_Artist_s_Complete_Guide_to_Facial_Expression
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/235466.Someday_This_Pain_Will_Be_Useful_to_You
When you see a poem, post a poem:
Apr. 17th, 2025 09:24 pmWhen life is darkest
Never listen to your thoughts
They don't know what's true.
NOM 12-19-2024
Never listen to your thoughts
They don't know what's true.
NOM 12-19-2024
Unfortunate Update
Apr. 17th, 2025 03:12 pmI had an allergic reaction Tuesday to one of those water flavoring squirt bottles, so I have a healing hive in my mouth … and now on Thursday, I used the hotel’s body wash and my face and underarms itch so bad, omg. I just took a Benadryl, a Claritin, and a Dramamine. I’m about to set my alarm and nap away this reaction for a couple-few hours.
In other news, I get lots of Good Book recced to me, that I can’t read right away, but need to come back to later. This one is Indigiqueer and Two-Spirit fiction: https://arsenalpulp.com/Books/L/Love-after-the-End
I am now starting a To Be Read journal tag so that this stuff can get come back for.
[edit to add: I only slept a couple hours, I am much less itchy, and I feel reasonably human right now.]
In other news, I get lots of Good Book recced to me, that I can’t read right away, but need to come back to later. This one is Indigiqueer and Two-Spirit fiction: https://arsenalpulp.com/Books/L/Love-after-the-End
I am now starting a To Be Read journal tag so that this stuff can get come back for.
[edit to add: I only slept a couple hours, I am much less itchy, and I feel reasonably human right now.]
No Battoo for me
Apr. 16th, 2025 09:03 pmAfter the semi-fiasco that this evening has been, I have reconsidered getting the Bat Memorial Tattoo at this time (or at least from the people who let me wait - largely by myself - for 45 minutes after they said they’d be ready).
But for now I’m going to textnumb3r_5ev3n and some people to see if anyone has plans tomorrow evening, since I won’t need a day to take all the recovery naps.
But for now I’m going to text
numb3r_5ev3n and some people to see if anyone has plans tomorrow evening, since I won’t need a day to take all the recovery naps.Life stuff
Apr. 13th, 2025 04:38 pm• My genetic screening came back clear for all the cancer-causing mutations they know to test for. I will still be doing the anti-cancer/Eat The Rainbow/anti-microplastics stuff that I know how to do, but it is still a weight lifted.
• I got enough homework done despite the Terrible Brain Weasels of PDA and executive dysfunction to feel comfortable traveling to texas with my mom and stepdad. So I’m in DFW and hella fucking tired right now.
• Stepdad is a lot more irritable than he used to be, is following other cars too closely and then braking really hard to not h get in wrecks, and is puzzled that other cars keep getting out of his lane to avoid him despite his … kinda driving like a crazy person. I need to talk to him about that, and I need to look up how to have the conversation where I say “you didn’t talk to your doctor about cognitive testing, and your faculties are noticeably not what they were. We need to do something about this sooner rather than later, bc once it’s bad enough that you notice it, it will be too late for the meds to help very much.” I want to do it, but I don’t know how yet. I need scripts. 😕
• I have the chance to get the Battoo this week, and am tentatively planning that for Wednesday if I can find a way to seenyyki this week even though she’s kind of a ways away and I have no car.
• I have high hopes to see a bunch of people Thursday, Friday, and Saturday - and get a bunch more hugs, which I desperately need.
• I got enough homework done despite the Terrible Brain Weasels of PDA and executive dysfunction to feel comfortable traveling to texas with my mom and stepdad. So I’m in DFW and hella fucking tired right now.
• Stepdad is a lot more irritable than he used to be, is following other cars too closely and then braking really hard to not h get in wrecks, and is puzzled that other cars keep getting out of his lane to avoid him despite his … kinda driving like a crazy person. I need to talk to him about that, and I need to look up how to have the conversation where I say “you didn’t talk to your doctor about cognitive testing, and your faculties are noticeably not what they were. We need to do something about this sooner rather than later, bc once it’s bad enough that you notice it, it will be too late for the meds to help very much.” I want to do it, but I don’t know how yet. I need scripts. 😕
• I have the chance to get the Battoo this week, and am tentatively planning that for Wednesday if I can find a way to see
nyyki this week even though she’s kind of a ways away and I have no car. • I have high hopes to see a bunch of people Thursday, Friday, and Saturday - and get a bunch more hugs, which I desperately need.
Happenstance
Apr. 12th, 2025 08:53 pmWhat are the things you wish you were better at?
• remembering
• forgiving myself and others for human foibles
•digesting sugar and adapting recipes to myself.
If you were to write a memoir about your life, what would the chapter titles be?
• All That Formative Crap
• 1988: The Last Year Nobody I Loved Had Died
• 1989
• Screaming Into The Void
• Waking Up To Find The Passage Of Time Goes On Without Me
• Finding A Real Friend
• Kiddo’s First Panic Attack
• Shame Gets Murdered In The Face
• Learning to Leave People
• Marriage?
• A Long Strange Trip
• Divorce …
•(???)
I have no idea what the chapter headers and titles would be until afterwards.
• remembering
• forgiving myself and others for human foibles
•digesting sugar and adapting recipes to myself.
If you were to write a memoir about your life, what would the chapter titles be?
• All That Formative Crap
• 1988: The Last Year Nobody I Loved Had Died
• 1989
• Screaming Into The Void
• Waking Up To Find The Passage Of Time Goes On Without Me
• Finding A Real Friend
• Kiddo’s First Panic Attack
• Shame Gets Murdered In The Face
• Learning to Leave People
• Marriage?
• A Long Strange Trip
• Divorce …
•(???)
I have no idea what the chapter headers and titles would be until afterwards.
Trying this again
Apr. 7th, 2025 07:51 pmI tried to get into the first Shadow work post Saturday and couldn’t figure out why it wasn’t working, but I just now realized that it requires you to be aware of your body, a thing at which I am Not Great (often deliberately so, considering the chronic pain). So let’s pick a different question and see how it goes.
What’s something you’re often embarrassed to admit to others?
• That I have chronic pain, which will need accommodations people often feel contempathy towards. I have childhood memories of people rolling their eyes when I try to express my needs, and it’s a shitty, shitty feeling that embarrasses me bc I technically can fix that situation, but I’m tired and have knives where spoons should be a lot of the time. It makes me feel bad to be disabled.
• That I am ““gifted”” - bc it doesn’t mean what people think it means. They think it means that I’m “too smart to make dumb mistakes” and like, neighbor … so are you but here you are mistaking intelligence with wisdom, a mistake any second year D&D player can point out. My procedural memory and visual memory work just fine. It’s the episodic memory where everything goes to shit.
• That they’re wrong about my having a gender, in a way that seems fairly obvious to me but is apparently easy to miss for cis folks. But other enbies can clock me and gravitate my way easily enough, so I guess that part is just as well. I just wish cis people would stop punishing cisn’t folx for not complying with gender norms. It’s tiresome and I have better shit to do.
Okay, that seems to have gotten a little deeper than last time. Limited success!
What’s something you’re often embarrassed to admit to others?
• That I have chronic pain, which will need accommodations people often feel contempathy towards. I have childhood memories of people rolling their eyes when I try to express my needs, and it’s a shitty, shitty feeling that embarrasses me bc I technically can fix that situation, but I’m tired and have knives where spoons should be a lot of the time. It makes me feel bad to be disabled.
• That I am ““gifted”” - bc it doesn’t mean what people think it means. They think it means that I’m “too smart to make dumb mistakes” and like, neighbor … so are you but here you are mistaking intelligence with wisdom, a mistake any second year D&D player can point out. My procedural memory and visual memory work just fine. It’s the episodic memory where everything goes to shit.
• That they’re wrong about my having a gender, in a way that seems fairly obvious to me but is apparently easy to miss for cis folks. But other enbies can clock me and gravitate my way easily enough, so I guess that part is just as well. I just wish cis people would stop punishing cisn’t folx for not complying with gender norms. It’s tiresome and I have better shit to do.
Okay, that seems to have gotten a little deeper than last time. Limited success!
Transitions
Apr. 5th, 2025 08:55 pmI think it is maybe time for me to let go of the feelings-naming exercise, and to start writing into the Shadow work section of this year.
What things do you notice trigger your body to tense up? ( Read more... )
What things do you notice trigger your body to tense up? ( Read more... )
23andMe bankruptcy
Apr. 2nd, 2025 08:04 pmCopied from Redbird
Heads up: 23andMe has declared bankruptcy, and the California attorney general is advising everyone to delete their data from the site now. California law specifically gives people the right to delete their, but the instructions look like they'd work regardless of where you live.
Instructions, copied from the Washington Post article:
How to delete genetic data from 23andMe
Log into your 23andMe account.
Go to your Profile, then tap Settings.
Scroll to the “23andMe Data” section at the bottom of the page and click View.
If you want to download your data, select what you want.
Scroll to the “Delete Data” section and click Permanently Delete Data.
Confirm your request: You’ll receive an email from 23andMe, and click the link in the email to confirm.
Here's an archive.is link to the Washington Post article:
https://archive.is/iNFaf
Heads up: 23andMe has declared bankruptcy, and the California attorney general is advising everyone to delete their data from the site now. California law specifically gives people the right to delete their, but the instructions look like they'd work regardless of where you live.
Instructions, copied from the Washington Post article:
How to delete genetic data from 23andMe
Log into your 23andMe account.
Go to your Profile, then tap Settings.
Scroll to the “23andMe Data” section at the bottom of the page and click View.
If you want to download your data, select what you want.
Scroll to the “Delete Data” section and click Permanently Delete Data.
Confirm your request: You’ll receive an email from 23andMe, and click the link in the email to confirm.
Here's an archive.is link to the Washington Post article:
https://archive.is/iNFaf
To the tune of "If I Only Had A Brain"
Mar. 31st, 2025 10:40 amIf I Only Had A Clue
I would fire Pete and JD,
Apologize to Haiti,
And not enrich the few.
I’d send NASA to the stars,
And send oligarchs to Mars
If I only had a clue …
-flamingsword
I would listen to the experts,
Not hire any perverts,
Give Musk nothing to do.
I would care for all the people
And resist the pull to evil
If I only had a clue …
-nyyki
If you want to throw on a verse, or even a few lines, I would love to see what you come up with!
I would fire Pete and JD,
Apologize to Haiti,
And not enrich the few.
I’d send NASA to the stars,
And send oligarchs to Mars
If I only had a clue …
-
flamingswordI would listen to the experts,
Not hire any perverts,
Give Musk nothing to do.
I would care for all the people
And resist the pull to evil
If I only had a clue …
-
nyyki If you want to throw on a verse, or even a few lines, I would love to see what you come up with!
(no subject)
Mar. 30th, 2025 09:58 pmIf anyone is a fan of Romantic poetry, the CryptoNaturalist’s work, or is a huge Goth, I learned this week in massage school that since the visible layers of human skin are all dead, we are always touching death when we reach for another person. That being said, on a chemical level, we are not separate, distinct entities from anything we are touching. The ocean is, in a sense, one creature; when we swim in it, we, too, are the sea.
In other celebrations of nature, we have a lot of blooming bulbs in the garden, a basil plant, a lemon balm, and some still-germinating red cabbage seeds. Maybe later I will plant some bell peppers to grow during the summer.
In other celebrations of nature, we have a lot of blooming bulbs in the garden, a basil plant, a lemon balm, and some still-germinating red cabbage seeds. Maybe later I will plant some bell peppers to grow during the summer.
