hanging my tomorrows on the bones of yesterday

https://ohandreagibson.tumblr.com/ising:

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This is my body
I have weather veins
They’re especially sensitive to dust storms and hurricanes
When I’m nervous my teeth chatter like a wheelbarrow collecting rain
I am rusty when I talk- it is the storm in me
( Read more... )

When life is darkest
Never listen to your thoughts
They don't know what's true.
NOM 12-19-2024

Carrion Comfort by Gerard Manley Hopkins( Read more... )

TW for grief

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TO THE YOUNG WHO WANT TO DIE by Gwendolyn Brooks.


Sit down. Inhale. Exhale.
The gun will wait. The lake will wait.
The tall gall in the small seductive vial
will wait will wait:
will wait a week: will wait through April.
You do not have to die this certain day.
Death will abide, will pamper your postponement.
I assure you death will wait. Death has
a lot of time. Death can
attend to you tomorrow. Or next week. Death is
just down the street; is most obliging neighbor;
can meet you any moment.

You need not die today.
Stay here--through pout or pain or peskyness.
Stay here. See what the news is going to be tomorrow.

Graves grow no green that you can use.
Remember, green's your color. You are Spring.

In A World Where Boyhood Is Weaponhood - a trans feminine person writes about what boyhood meant to her, how it felt to be socialized towards violence.

the Animi app for alexithymia

Beliefs about Emotions Influence How People Feel, Act and Relate to Others Thinking about a range of emotions as friends rather than foes improves the quality of our life.

Asterion, for microtonal glass marimba video on youtube - 3 minutes

Find out why insurance denied your claim, via Pro Publica.

Rethinking ADHD Treatment: The Power of Non-Stimulant Medication by Dr. Tracey Marks - 8 minutes (This had some things in it that I did not know!)

Leaked Video: Dark Money Group Brags About Writing GOP Voter Suppression Bills Across the Country on Mother Jones.

PubMed thing that I am reading this week about anti-aging science so that i don't lose it later. Dang, y'all, I miss del.icio.us so freaking much. Fuck you, Yahoo.

Supreme Chancellor Obi-Wan Kenobi - by stonefreeak - gen fic, crack - is updating again, and I am very happy about this.

( and a poem )
Hey, do I need a links icon? I think maybe I do. Hmm.

Drop this spinning plate, drop the juggling ball.
Watch them shatter; watch them shatter after the fall.

Juggling plastic, spinning wood, you drop them.
They clatter loud on the floor, but you are not them.

When you hit the hardwood, what will you do?
Will you fall also, just to see what’s true?

This poem will not leave me alone today. So I’m going to pass it along to you, thoughtful being that I am.

I’m considering writing a short poem for every day of November, just to see if I can make my brain do the thing, kinda my own form of NaNoWriMo. I will see about coming up with randomized topics to write on as well, but if you want a short and possibly-not-great poem, comment a subject? And I’ll do what I can. Subjects can be broad or very specific. Go nuts!

*sighs forever like the wind over the shore*

But anyway:
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/autism-treatment-shifts-away-from-fixing-the-condition/ science and medicine are finally starting to work on autism-as-neurodiversity models insead of the disability model? Most excellent.

https://whitelabrecs.bandcamp.com/album/slicing-space-time-into-objects chilly and weird and cool ambient

https://bigthink.com/neuropsych/adhd-drugs-alzheimers-disease/ For those of us with Alzheimers in our families, more forms of hope are on the horizon.

https://bigthink.com/thinking/psychological-vaccine-prebunking-misinformation/ Thing I need to read still about fighting misinformation.

https://bigthink.com/health/new-class-antidepressant-works-in-2-hours/ A new antidepressant has gone through animal trials, and this one has A WHOLE NEW MECHANISM OF ACTION!!! If standard antidepressants don't work for you, this one might.

https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/a-little-lunacy-limited-edition/menage-a-trois-a-little-lunacy-limited-edition/dragons-blood-honey-and-copal-perfume-oil/ I can smell this just from reading the description, omg.

https://getpocket.com/explore/item/the-feynman-technique-the-best-way-to-learn-anything?

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And a poem I found on dira's profile that has me thinky today:

What we call the beginning is often the end
And to make an end is to make a beginning.
The end is where we start from. And every phrase
And sentence that is right (where every word is at home,
Taking its place to support the others,
The word neither diffident nor ostentatious,
An easy commerce of the old and the new,
The common word exact without vulgarity,
The formal word precise but not pedantic,
The complete consort dancing together)
Every phrase and every sentence is an end and a beginning,
Every poem an epitaph. And any action
Is a step to the block, to the fire, down the sea's throat
Or to an illegible stone: and that is where we start.

--"Little Gidding," T.S. Eliot

If I could take one flaw away from you
The whole of you would be less richly textured.
I don’t need to cut you to pieces
And love only the pretty bits.

When you were a child,
Someone carved a question mark into you
And you have been bleeding since,
Hearts-blood making the ground treacherous to pass.

You are not naive, new to being butchered,
And don’t we all have sharper claws than we expect?
But we can accept our edges or
Keep carving our hearts away.

"Merry Capitalism!", says the bell-ringing man, vest bright as a winter cardinal. His pot is full of lies and gold. His silver bell tells lies cheerfully. Won't someone help the poor? Oh, won't you help the poor?

I search for the next shiny thing, the next, the next.

Last year I went home stuffed with candy and starving, peckish as a starling in the bleak mid-winter.

Is there a party!? I have a fear of missing out, you see. Is there a dinner? A feast? A banquet in my honor? I must make up for all that I lack by stuffing your mouth full of shiny things.

I look up at the weak sunlight, at the tattered gold that is half a lie. Gold and lies, always such close friends.

One is silver and the other is gold ... that was in a poem I read as a child. I don't remember what it was about. Maybe I can buy another copy.

Maybe I can buy another book to collect dust on my shelf, gilt-edged pages full of words. Words with edges and guilt. Have I read any of these books? I certainly tell people I have.

I need a new thing, the newest and shiniest thing. I need to give you the thing that says that you shine, too, but all I have in my hands are candy wrappers. It is inadequate. Am I inadequate?

Like a magpie, I flit around looking for bits of bright tinsel, wrapping paper to brighten a gift that I'm sure I will find soon. The perfect gift to make you love me.

You look so terribly thin, lately. Merry Capitalism! Can I interest you in a piece of candy?



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