An IRL friend asked for my help, and you know how I get. Research ahoy!

 The AVENwiki Lexicon is the glossary of terms you might need for quick reference when reading pages on gender theory. Most of these links will have their own explanations in the text, but just in case. 

Gender identity is descriptive rather than prescriptive. It seeks to be a useful adjective rather than an exact formula or rulebook. 

A FAQ for questions on gender, because tumblr is awesomesauce for that. 

A helpful gingerbread person explains, in visual terms:

I'M IN UR LOUIZIANA, WATCHN UR OKE TREEZ GRO

In Louiziana I seez a oke tree growin,
All alonely wif moss, I saw what it did there,
Wif no companionz it growed there, leavz liek jazz hands,
And the waiz it has a flavor, is amused, pwning teh noobs, MOAR GAI, is liek a mini-me,
But I wonderz how can be liek Happy Cat all alonely there
Wif no kittehs, cuz I no can do dat,
INVISIBLE FRIENDZ!!1! O NOEZ!
So I brokes offa twig wif leavz relevant to mah interest
Rolled in moss (liek serious thread),
And bringed it hoem, and I has watched it liek Ceiling Cat,
I'z not tarded, no needs it to remind me of mah own kittehs,
(IT'S DANGEROUS TO GO ALONE! TAKE THIS.)
Yet curious token is curious, makes me think of buttsecks;
Akshully, tho liev-oak sparkles there in Louiziana,
Alonely and won't get offa my lawn,
Makes leavz liek jazz hands 'til Caturday wif no kittehs near,
That I no can has.

was originally I saw in Louisiana a Live-Oak Growing.

The most profound thing that I have seen this week.

Go. Read.

Right now I'm drinking coffee with cinnamon and honey. It's what my mom used to bribe me out of bed with on cold mornings, and it is comfort food. I'm doing okay, but even with the SAM-e the anhedonia is still there. I've never dealt with grief before as a sane adult. None of my usual bag of tricks is much good to me for this. I built myself to survive, but I'm realizing I have little experience leading a normal life. My skill set doesn't apply to NOT being a headcase. o_O I am much bemused by this.

I just found out that the pilot episode for the show I have now watched twice (GLEE: its title and what it induces) . . . is the only episode. The show doesn't start 'til this fall. :( It also doesn't star the werewolf/quarterback from Big Wolf on Campus, a delightfully lame kids show I used to watch. The resemblance between the two actors is pretty impressive, though. I had some hope of finally getting back into watching some mainstream television and having things to talk about with regular folk. :T My coworkers will just have to continue hearing about webcomics and neuroscience blogs. Darn. :)

Instead I may have to read up on the Mark Cuban/NBA epic struggle. An enterprising nerd bought the Dallas Mavericks, the basketball franchise. Now the refs are turning a blind eye to fouls so that the Mavs lose. My mom was almost in the middle of a riot at the game last month, and the refs doing the NBA's dirty work had to be disguised and smuggled out. It's geeks vs jocks, the post-collegiate edition. You know whose side I'm on already, don't you?

In other news it has now rained on the Byron Nelson, thus delivering to us the rain god's sign that we are not in for a summer of drought! Texas has it's very own Groundhog Day, full of tradition, mystery, and golf umbrellas. Embrace your uniqueness, Texas! Big is beautiful!

I am still trying to think up appropriate captions for a political set that are not entirely based on things I've seen on Pundit Kitchen.

The Watchmen movie was spectacularly well done, the few updates were brilliantly handled, and whether or not you have read the comic (which you should), you should see the movie. It's got me thinky.

( Spoilers and meta behind the cut. )

Sorry, elucreh. I would do Panic, but my favorites are a bit less brightly colored. :) I would like to go on record as saying that I don't even much like punk music, ok? That I'm doing the '5 things about my favorite band' meme about My Chem says nothing about my musical taste, which you know very well I haven't got any of.

1. Gerard Way reminds me a bit of Tony Aubrey, willnobilis and some of the fanboys from Lone Star. The same idealism, that willingness to use your life as a social experiment: my favorite geeks are brave and possessed of a kind of trollish fortitude that outperforms less enthusiastic persons. They're all geeks, but they're geek rock stars, out winning Eisner's and doing what they always wanted to do - cutting off the nose of expected social roles to spite conformity's face. It's kind of nice to know that, statistically speaking, at least some of the awkward guys who used to follow me around during Magic and Warhammer tournaments went on to lead happy, fulfilled lives. And maybe some of them also went on to live their dreams of rock stardom. *shrugs* It's not like me and my limited contact with pop culture would know. So, they give me reason to believe in my friends and acquaintances, and that's the first reason they're my favorites.

2. I identify with these guys. I went on a kick of watching interviews of my heroes, and Neil Gaiman is too lucid and well-spoken and just fucking cool to have a thing in common with me. Mikey Way is the internet's darling because we can tell that he's one of us. He's learning to be less self-conscious, letting his unabashedly dorky self shine through. They don't just remind me of you guys - sometimes they remind me of ME, which is a lot more rare.

3. The Black Parade is the song I needed to hear when I was thirteen. I didn't have it then, but they made it so that the kids after us will have something that tells them not to be ashamed of being broken. My Chemical Romance Saves Lives: maybe it's a cliche and maybe I was already saved, but I was lucky, and they're working to take it out of the clumsy hands of luck. I mentioned the dedication to idealism already, but did I mention that they have a fan update community here on LJ with six thousand people watching it? So they're competent saviours, and you all know how I feel about that.

4. Frank. Trickster guitar yoga enthiasts = <3. My old friend Brandon Cordrey was this tiny ADHD maniac who got me sent to the principles office weekly if not daily. Did I ever back out of my share of getting into trouble? Not once. I miss having somone around to be dangerously irresponsible with. I want to risk grievous bodily injury and restraining orders. I want an even-more-miniature Frank Iero to keep in my pocket, like a not-very-blue Nac Mac Feegle. Or maybe just a talking action figure of him that tells people to go fuck themselves. I'm negotiable.

5. They're just lovable, normal geeks. They blog about their dogs, new computer hardware, their favorite cereal, movie references and reality TV shows. They're not playing at being legends, they just have a job to do and they do it. I respect the hell out of that. I need more role models to enforce my notions of living my life exactly as I please, of not needing to be cool or even mainstream-friendly, of believing that I am loved and appreciated just as I am. They give me so much more than hope.

So, while I may not like punk music, I'm still buying their Desolation Row cover off iTunes tomorrow. And pretty much anything else they do. They are my very favorite band, and those are five of my best reasons why.

Last night I went dancing as planned. And proceeded to have an amazing time. I was getting a bit wibbly about how there were only five of us, and then at 11:15 people started showing up. I only made one v. embarrassing display of squeeing like a fangirl in a crowded public place. That's not bad considering that I'm still me, and 26 looks like being just as apt for me to be a dork and a bit of a loony. I wonder if anything will change this year? I don't really change my fundamental structures as much as I used to, but I never see them coming until they're there. Maybe I'm not what changed last year.
*shrugs*
Also: those of you who were not there know how much you can piss right off, you cowards!! You missed out on people-pretty-dancy-fun fun. My condolences to those who had to work. You will be taken for sushi the next time we meet, in reparation.

To continue the saga: I was awoken @ 8:30 by a construction crew taking the wood paneling off the side of our building. They're sort of loud. I'm too euphoric to properly care, though. :D

Last night was a night of miracles. On the whole, not a lot of people showed. But the longest of all possible long shots showed up, and I'm having to hit myself in the skull with LJ stuff to ground myself and quit obsessing. (yes, LJ is grounding for me. yes, I know how weird it is that something so not-depicting of the real world keeps me in touch with what's real) And I want to obsess, but it's a habit that doesn't work for me. I'm still too skippy to have anything like perspective on this, and the ~4 hours of sleep last night is not going to be a big help with that. I'll think about it tomorrow, and probably have it floating in my headspace until it solidifies into some more of those cracked aphorisms you guys love.
My favorite new me-quote on the subject of why I overuse the term 'cracked': "People are like rock crystal, we can only be as brilliant as we are cracked."

I've got these and more icons up on my scrapbook page, because I've not had internet for a week, but I've wanted to do LJ stuff so badly. So I made a fuckton of icons. ( Follow the link to the cool stuff. )