Have a meme!

[flamingsword]

runpunkrun prompted panisdead to discuss three of her profile interests. It became a meme, and sometimes the mood just strikes you to do certain interesting memes, you know?

panisdead assigned me:
*ella fitzgerald
*lolita fashion
*uncomfortable conversations

Ella.
How do I explain how soothing and mellow I find her voice? Summertime with Louis Armstrong, April in Paris, in fact the whole of the Ella and Louis album is just golden (Beware: sappy love songs). She is about a third of why I even like jazz. I can't deal with a lot of scratchy sounds like loud snare drums or very screechy sounds like electric guitar, because of the sensory processing difficulties. It doesn't leave a lot of modern music that I can really enjoy without getting overstimulated or headachey. But jazz, especially old 30's-50's "sweet" style jazz - I can listen to that for hours in the background, and a significant percentage of that era is her music, as she was a prolific juggernaut. I can sing along to her music when I want to without feeling like I'm being asked to be happy or dance or do anything high-energy like most of the other music that I like to listen to.

Lolita and J-fashion.
I like playing with gender and presentations, so enough Japanese hyper-femininity to gag a toxic-ly masculine Texan suits me perfectly. I get to wear a fashion that does not encourage people to hit on me (so nice). It shifts the Overton Window toward the weird end of the spectrum, providing protective cover for others who don't fit the dominant paradigm. It also just looked cool to a teen who was a weeb in the 90's when that started to be a bigger thing in America. Soon here I'm going to start playing with masculine looks, if I can both thrift some suits of the right size and manage to save up enough money to afford a tailor.

Uncomfortable conversations.
I don't enjoy having uncomfortable conversations, exactly, but they're an interest of mine. I delight in learning new scripts and ways to have those conversations that are prickly and unsettling. I used to obsessively read Captain Awkward columns, because she dealt with their problems by shifting blame back onto the parties causing the wackness and giving people scripts to help them do that verbally and in their heads. I like talking to some of my IRL friends about how to have strategic conversations that can at least be productive even if they're going to be uncomfortable. Even if I am less good at having those conversations for myself without having a sounding-board to talk to about it. I think that might be one of those things where having an external perspective is helpful.

Further meme stuff: if you want to participate in this via me, if this strikes your fancy, then let me know in the comments and I'll choose three of your interests for you to post about.

Comments

[ex_flameandsong751]

OK! I am here!

[flamingsword]

Three things I want to hear you talk about, if you please:

* machinedrum
* being a disaster gay
* seefeel

[obstinatecondolement]

I love Ella Fitzgerald! She's probably my favourite singer, possibly even my favourite musician. As a(n amateur) jazz singer, I find her an invaluable resource because she often sings the melody more or less as written the first time and then improvises on the subsequent pass. Both are extremely useful to study.

[flamingsword]

I wish you all of the luck at improvisation and experimentation in music!

[obstinatecondolement]

Thank you!

[princessofgeeks]

ELLA FITZGERALD RULES

[flamingsword]

I think Ella Fitzgerald was elected to her supreme elevation by an adoring public, so she’s probably the President of Jazz. I'm voting for her, certainly.

[panisdead]

These are great! I like all of your answers here, but I love reading about how people handle gender and fashion. I have tried many points on the spectrum and it turns out I need to aim for somewhere in the range of androgynous or I get real uncomfortable, but how exactly I balance masculine/feminine elements can be fun to vary. I am interested in how you can play with a much wider range!

[flamingsword]

I don’t have gender dysphoria, and that is most of my secret. I don’t care much about how people see me, I only care about how they treat me, mostly under the heading of “pressure to conform to gender norms” which I find pointless and restrictive.

So I just wear whatever, and if people think that means they get to coerce me into gendered behavior then I have an uncomfortable conversation with them.

[we_are_spc]

I'll put this up soonish myself, but...

I'd like for you to talk about these three, if you would:
nerdfighter
problematic faves,
verbal aikido

-T~

[dhampyresa]

Just saw a promo post for lolitafashion!

[flamingsword]

Thanks! I just followed them!