hanging my tomorrows on the bones of yesterday

Stealing Harry by Copperbadge. Bc sometimes you need familiar things made unfamiliar.

The fall of the Roman Empire was largely due to income inequality and xenophobia. Not that we know anything about that.

Warren G Harding tried to get the country back on track after the Spanish Flu pandemic of 1918. Guess how well that went. Guess.

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( And a therapy thing: )

Anger as a feeling is difficult for some to express, and for others to express in a ( reasonable and proportionate way. )

Things that worked in the past do not always work in present circumstances. Things that work here and now in the short term may not work out as well in the long term. Without blaming yourself for not having psychic powers, try to think of the consequences of some of your previous attempts to ( cope with anxiety. )

On Merlin's suggestion, I have been doing more blogging on personal lock because it helps me be less critical of what is coming out of my brain. Some of it is pointless drivel, some of it is getting feelings out and is good for me emotionally, some of it approaches poetry in places and will probable get poemed in the near future.

I highly recommend talking to yourself and seeing what falls out once you get comfortable.

How to use this cheat sheet:
*Awareness
*Acceptance
( *Action )

So you've probably heard of Fork Theory, the theory that there are only so many annoyances that you can handle until you hit your Fork Limit and you no longer give a fork? Some of what we mean about stress management as a lifestyle has to take into account your daily forks.

Trans women getting misgendered by people who don't realize their own bigotry: it's like being stabbed with a fork. The pain and irritation last all day. Same with racism, ableism, and other -isms. Having to shave every day even though your skin is really sensitive and it will itch all day is a fork. Having to pee is a fork. Being in an office with a light fixture that buzzes in the same frequency as a mosquito is a fork, as is spending time with someone you dislike. Forks are cognitive expenses that are not part of our normal activities. And when you have shaved today, been misgendered, have to pee and then someone you dislike walks into the office, sometimes You. Are. Just. Done.

And other people can't always tell. And they will keep piling stressful annoyances and spoon and fork demands on you until you melt down. And then you get to deal with the long term embarrassment of having melted down in front of people you want to respect you, which is a fork. And the cycle starts again.

But what if you could fix the buzzing light, go to the bathroom, and avoid having to interact with the bless-their-heart bigot? You would not hit your Fork Limit and would be irritated, but not near to losing the plot. It would decrease your forks for that day, and your long term forks by subtracting the mosquito light and embarrassing meltdown. Fixing the longer-term annoyances in your life sounds frivolous, but it is essential to your stress management.

I highly recommend writing a journal entry with the things that annoyed you this week, and tossing out some ideas for plans to fix those things. Even knowing that you are working toward fixing something often makes those things less annoying. And that is one tool in your stress management toolbox.

( Medical whining because flesh bodies are so disgustingly painful. )

In other news, I just changed insurance, so I get to do eleventy million kinds of twattery getting pharmacies arranged and primary care and autopay and finding a new neurologist and calling all of our doctors and updating insurance info, and and and. I just want to buy lolita stuff and read fluffy curtainfic and sleep. Is that too much to ask?

Anyway. The holidays were good, even if I am never going off the diet for three days ever again. The first Codecademy lesson went okay, my friends are mostly doing alright, and there is a lolita meetup the 12th that I will be at in a ridiculous dress. I will be sure to take pics. ;)

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The Laws Guidelines of Therapy

( 0. Pay attention. )

Thoughts/feelings awareness log:
I felt happy because I thought:
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•
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I felt sad because I thought:
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•
•

I felt angry because I thought:
•
•
•

I felt fear because I thought:
•
•
•

I felt disgust because I thought:
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•
•

List at least 5 things that you want, and the hidden emotional need behind the obvious desire.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

If you are crabby or out-of-sorts, it may help you to list as many forks as you can, to see which ones are the easiest to un-stick.
I am upset about _____, _____, and _____.
I am irritated about _____, _____, and _____.
I am sad about _____, _____, and _____.
I feel guilty about _____, _____, and _____.
I feel bored or stressed about _____, _____, and _____.
Think for a few minutes about which of these things would be the easiest or most energy efficient to fix. If it is a good day and you feel up to the challenge, you can pick something harder!

Ongoing evidence log:
I did _____ and experienced _____ which supports the healthy belief that _____.


Cheat sheet for naming feelings:

Growing Healthy Friendships is a big part of the long-term maintenance of any circle of friends. You may wish to read this short article before considering the next questions.


Some things I have done in the past that have damaged my relationships with one or more circles are _____

Some things I have done in the past that have helped me maintain relationships are _____

Changes I could make in the way I relate to my circles include _____

One small step I am willing to take today to start this process is _____