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So apparently that antidiscrimination stuff in our code of conduct only applies to what we are allowed to say to clients, and it is "unprofessional" of me to *very gently* ask someone to not discriminate against me. I was threatened with firing today if I even talk about the subject with her or another client. Thanks for making me complicit in my own dehumanization, FailBoss.

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From:

feotakahari

I’ve heard good things about Donna Ballman: https://www.amazon.com/Stand-Yourself-Without-Getting-Fired/dp/1601632355

From:

flamingsword

Thanks. I should probably go spelunking into employment and legal advice columns before I sink more money into books for the year, but thank you for reminding me that I have an entire internet to read to help with this.

From:

conuly

Argh, that's the worst thing I've read today.

From:

flamingsword

What makes it kind of worse is that FailBoss is currently being FailBoss because she lost someone close to her, and corporate is trying to push a lot of pointless new rules down the chain at us, and it all winds up at her to implement. If I go in there all guns blazing I know I will feel bad afterward even if I get her to stand up for me.

Also, the part where she grudgingly has to be persuaded to stand up for me itself makes me question her value as an ally. I know that people in the grief process are not their best selves. I also know that when life strips away something essential and breaks you down to pieces, whatever is left standing is you as you really are. You are only the things that can't be taken from you, and if she has not internalized protecting people or at the fucking least letting people protect themselves then her ally ship is based around doing the socially appropriate thing, not the right one.

And it makes me sad that I have to rely on flawed allies in positions of power. That we all do.

From:

ysabetwordsmith

You can either:

* continue your own dehumanization.

* look for another job.

* report them for discrimination against you, since that's illegal in most places.

If their code of conduct does not say the anti-discrimination is only for customers, then it applies also to staff and they are in violation. If it says only customers, they are probably in violation of wider laws. It is convenient to have written documents in this regard.

From:

flamingsword

Yeah. I need to look through my binder of work stuff for the newest code of conduct and see if I have a copy.

I can rules lawyer with the best of them when I am not being caught flat footed.