CBT post: Communication and Challenging Distorted Thoughts -template

[flamingsword]

In the tool for Identifying Distorted Thoughts we made a log of some of our common responses that we know are not rational. Challenging those thoughts with rational counterexamples can turn down the volume on the feelings produced by the distorted thought. It does not always make them go away entirely, but it makes things easier to deal with, and helps you implement the Alternative Coping Skills we came up with last post.

Distorted Thought: They don't care about me.
Rational Response: Maybe they care, but forgot. I have forgotten important things about people I care about before.

Distorted Thought:
Rational Response:

Distorted Thought:
Rational Response:

Distorted Thought:
Rational Response:

Distorted Thought:
Rational Response:

Distorted Thought:
Rational Response:

[Adapted from The CBT Toolbox by Jeff Riggenbach]

Comments

[fairestcat]

For myself I've always been fond of:

Distorted Thought: OMG they hate me / they're mocking me / they don't care at all about me.

Rational Response: Has this person at any point in the past given me reason to think they're an asshole? No? Then why am I assuming they're an asshole?

[flamingsword]

I, too, tend to treat people as though they will not care that they are hurting me. I was neglected as a kid, and I was bullied until ... uh. This year? I am autistic and people were still deliberately hurting me to try to make me neurotypical until April of this year when I cut the last of them out of my life. ... um. Actually, I am not sure that what some of my family members do concerning my pronouns cannot be considered bullying. So ... yeah.

Sometimes you keep being patient to shame people into stopping hurting you. And sometimes you slowly start cutting more people out of your life. 😕