hanging my tomorrows on the bones of yesterday

Early November projects, in no particular order:
• bought some Yule gifts and sent them
• started knitting a sock for Merlin and making smellgoods
• pictures of the knitting and perfumery: https://imgur.com/a/pzNAKME
• I married two of my friends! (To each other, not to me, lol)
• Ghost is sloooowly coming out of his Depressive episode!
• voted in the constitutional election
• unexpectedly listened to 15 minutes of fireworks on Diwali (happy belated to all who celebrate!)
• failed utterly at writing a poem every other day this month, but oh well.
• made plans for Turkey Day / Wolfenoot - https://nationaltoday.com/wolfenoot/
• bought cheeses and things for charcuterie board for same.

It’s been slowly sliding toward the dark of the year, and today my bones ached from the pressure change from last nights storm. But at least that’s over with for now. TDOR is always a good day for me to keep my head down and engage carefully with everything, why should the weather be any different?

How’re y’all, then?

Imgur post of recent projects, if you want to see pics of what I’ve been up to lately.

So far so good on my eyes not hurting today! 🤞🍀

What I have been up to the last month, in pictures.

Right now I am making a second fawn clip, and pinning together some tie strips to sew for more masks. And petting a very needy Sage kitty, who needs one million attentions.

Since Tumblr now has it's own [occupy] tag, I think maybe we need an LJ comm. But I may be too busy to start one. If anyone else wants to help but can't protest in person, you are welcome to lend your internet-fu to the cause.
( On to the Newsmedia links roundup! )

The Bad: I spaced out a lot at Flipside, and then again at A-kon. I thought it might have been the heat at Flipside, but A-kon was indoors and mostly air-conditioned. :\ There really are a lot of budgetary concerns for my attention. The more things there are to pay attention to (like 16,000 geeks in one place) the easier it becomes to drop all of it, and I'd forgotten about that. No wonder I was such a space cadet in school.

As far as bad things go, that's not that bad, and the software changes that I'm trying out seem to be functional.

The Good: I got to spend four days with art freaks and then another three days with anime nerds. MY PEOPLE! I LOVE YOU ALL. I have bathed in weirdness and belonging, and my soul feels clean. Clean enough to identify some goals!

The Thinky: Some of these goals require successfully predicting the behavior of large groups of people, figuring out ways to put safety features into social technology, and
The Make Dallas Weird project is going to take about 90 years, I think. I'm going to have to become a political creature in order to make the city ordinances more accepting to the things that attract geeks to a city. And I need a second branch of this plan to transform nerds into geeks so that the ones we have already become visible.

Listing out unfulfilled human emotional needs will help us predict the shape of the future. Basically all the people who've ever been right about what the future had in store went with predicting that humans want emotional fulfillment, convenience, comfort, and fun.

In other news: I am now reading Soulless by Gail Carriger. It's a steampunk Victorian comedy of manners, the kind of book the Anita Blake series could have been if it had an ounce of proper decorum. It is hilarious, and I owe many thanks to mig_unit for it.

*I was going to do the April Fool's Day post about how Xenoix and I had broken up, and put the 'details' under a cut-tag that only went to the words "Do you know what day it is?" Unfortunately I just don't feel like it. I feel kinda crappy, physically, like sinus-shoggoths are trying to invade my throat. What I wouldn't give for some nice homeopathic Elder Sign extract! . . . See? I just am not funny today, and I don't feel like failing continuously. Meh. :|

*So: in order to come up with some direction and feelings of continued utility and relevance, I've decided to go through old journals for records of my uncompleted goals. And knowing me there will be enough things that I've forgotten about to fill several pages. I'll then winnow them down according to whether they appeal to me currently, see what I've got left over, and post it up here to see if any themes emerge. Y'all might have to help with that bit, I totally won't be able to spot the obvious stuff. If you get the sense that I'm kind of down on myself at the moment, you'd be right. I had to explain the way my memory works to not one but two different co-workers today, and other people's pity is uncomfortable to me. I'm kind of glad that "I meant what I said, even though I may not remember it later" a convo you only have to have with people once.

*I was at the library the other day to find Women From Another Planet which apparently they don't have in any library in Texas (fail!). And when I was up in the psychology section for books on the autism spectrum, I picked up a mis-shelved copy of The Sociopath Next Door and read a bit. And it disturbed me. I'm not gonna lie. cluegirl says it's a fascinating read, and I believe her, but I'm not entirely sure that people understand sociopaths correctly. Because according to the most fundamental definition, I qualify. I don't feel shame or regret when I've hurt someone. I feel stupid and like a failure, because hurting people is bad for a system which ~hello, I live inside of~ and I hate making bad judgment calls that I will have to fix the repercussions of later so I try to be as nice as is reasonable and practical. I don't feel jealousy, or fear of mortality, or greed in any normal sense, and my expression of a lot of emotions is not what it is for other people. But just because I have fewer and more limited emotions doesn't mean that I want to destroy society or be a serial killer. I would have to also be under several delusions about my impact on the world and in a lot of chronic emotional pain for either of those to occur. I think it's possible that there's another invisible spectrum in human behavior, of the weight and importance of feelings. For some people emotions are this dominant, inexorable force. I have no idea what that's like, so my lack of affect must be just as freaky to them as their paradigm is to me and the sociopaths. :\

*When I was a teen, every day was Opposite Day. I'm an adult now. Can I have just one Apposite Day? That's all I'm asking for.

I am buying new CDR, and you know what that means. MIXTAPES!

Filk for elucreh, 2 pop-punk mixes for ultimatebryan, a stirring collection of soundtrack action themes, and the usual mix of weird things that I've found this year. Whoever wants in knows where to put a comment. :)

NEW PLAN: WE ALL CHANGE OUR LAST NAME TO 'WHO' AND SOME OF US START GETTING DOCTORATES!

:D?

I just found this, so this poem isn't the reason that I'm going to get a map of the moon tattooed on my back. But it perfectly explains why I've wanted to.

Not The Moon by Margaret Atwood

What idiocy could transform the moon, that old sea-overgrown
skull seen from above, to a goddess of mercy?

( You fish for the silver light, there on the quiet lake, so clear to see; you plunge your hands into the water and come up empty. )

In the wake of $500 of unexpected car repairs, I may not be going to CMA this spring. So all of the normal head-sorting that's supposed to happen there, the entire reason I started going, will need to be handled by me, outside ritual space. Won't this be fun?

I have come to the conclusion that I need my own personal meta: I can't just have feelings, I need to deconstruct my head so that I can have feelings about my feelings. ( Not all of this makes sense, but I needed to write it out. )