news and therapy
Oct. 27th, 2020 08:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
flamingswordI did wind up spending that $50 on the bestest yarn, but I have a plan for it now, so that's okay!
I'm helping out my local chapter of the Democratic Socialists of America, and may have slightly over-scheduled myself with all the stuff I'm doing but it will be okay in another few days. I got an app to help me stay in touch with people instead of forgetting that people exist until I suddenly miss them desperately. I am almost done withrens_sanctuary 's sweater, which is my ... 5th? this year.
5 of my safety behaviors that may need to be re-evaluated are:
1. over-explaining
2. taking other's responsibility on myself
3. empathizing with people who don't need my empathy
4. assuming that people are going to be assholes
5. Assume that people will object to anything that I want
I am grateful to my younger self for developing a skillset to keep me safe, but I no longer need these behaviours because:
1. I have the skills to make people believe me now, unless they are assholes, and I don't have to cater to sea lions.
2. Other people's failures are not about me.
3. If people don't extend empathy my way, then I can be more strategic about my thoughts toward them. Mercy is not sympathy.
4. I am not bullied anymore, and am hard to push around.
5. I have learned that I can make a circle of friends and second family that are not assholes.
Things that I will try instead are:
1. Dismissing people who want me to chase their good opinion.
2. Offering help once, then letting people succeed or fail on their own if they don't want it.
3. Offering mercy but not empathy to those outside my circle.
4. Letting people be assholes to me if they want to. They don't have power in my life.
5. I will try just asking if stuff is cool with people.
I'm helping out my local chapter of the Democratic Socialists of America, and may have slightly over-scheduled myself with all the stuff I'm doing but it will be okay in another few days. I got an app to help me stay in touch with people instead of forgetting that people exist until I suddenly miss them desperately. I am almost done with
rens_sanctuary 's sweater, which is my ... 5th? this year. 5 of my safety behaviors that may need to be re-evaluated are:
1. over-explaining
2. taking other's responsibility on myself
3. empathizing with people who don't need my empathy
4. assuming that people are going to be assholes
5. Assume that people will object to anything that I want
I am grateful to my younger self for developing a skillset to keep me safe, but I no longer need these behaviours because:
1. I have the skills to make people believe me now, unless they are assholes, and I don't have to cater to sea lions.
2. Other people's failures are not about me.
3. If people don't extend empathy my way, then I can be more strategic about my thoughts toward them. Mercy is not sympathy.
4. I am not bullied anymore, and am hard to push around.
5. I have learned that I can make a circle of friends and second family that are not assholes.
Things that I will try instead are:
1. Dismissing people who want me to chase their good opinion.
2. Offering help once, then letting people succeed or fail on their own if they don't want it.
3. Offering mercy but not empathy to those outside my circle.
4. Letting people be assholes to me if they want to. They don't have power in my life.
5. I will try just asking if stuff is cool with people.