Snowflake 3

[flamingsword]

Write a love letter to fandom. It might be to fandom in general, to a particular fandom, favourite character, anything at all.

Post your answer to today’s challenge in your own space and leave a comment in this post saying you did it.

Once upon a time, one of the friends who was teaching me How To Person told me that my problem wasn't so much that people didn't like me, it was more that I didn't like people. I was constantly on the defensive and went into social situations expecting to get so little value out of the exchange that I was unconsciously treating people like their existence was a chore. He kinda had a point. It was not a great way to make friends when everyone around me felt judged.

I was still getting over that but starting to get used to trying to like people when I found fandom back in 2003-2004, and found my way over to copperbadge's comment section. It was the sudden manic insistence of my nervous system that I LOVE EVERYONE IN THIS BAR - just an overwhelming tide of positive feelings that I couldn't even process them all. I was still hella awkward as a human, but managed to make some neurodivergent friends anyway, some of whom I still talk to more than two decades later. And that insistence by my nervous system that These Are My People the feelings of I Belong Here and These People Are Like Me was so antithetical to every way that I had ever felt about groups of people that it wound up changing core parts of my personality, my identity.

I am me, because of y'all. You did this to me and I honestly couldn't be fucking happier about it.

dyingfire and maeritrae and elucreh - thank you so much for welcoming me aboard.

And all of fandom: thank you for existing.

Comments

[pattrose]

Oh, I loved this.

[flamingsword]

Thank you for existing.

[minoanmiss]

Woot woot :)

[flamingsword]

<3 <3 <3

[sabethea]

<3

[flamingsword]

All the hearts!

[sabotabby]

I LOVE EVERYONE IN THIS BAR is honestly the best feeling, and the thing I miss most about being involved in fandom.

[flamingsword]

It is so right-feeling to be around a majority of people whose brains work adjacent to yours. Like I don't understand why allistic people are actively prejudiced against autistic folks but I do get that it is _easier_ to interact with other allistic folks. But everyone in this bar is trying their best to be good to one another, and failing sometimes but trying again. It's that whole audacity of hope thing Obama talks about.

[melagan]

Yep, fandom love will sneak up on you like that. ❤️

[flamingsword]

Sneak nothing! I feel like I got walked up to and sucker punched in the face with the full force of community and love and belonging. It was not at all subtle! XD

[sugareey]

Love, love this! :D <3

[extraarcha]

While i think that i understand what you're saying, i don't think that was my issue. The others don't seem to get that (i think) i take people at who they act as. I'm feeling that many feel i'm judging them. No. I just have too often been side-swiped by someone who feels the need to attack (... first?). I don't attack. I do shut down attacks and i'm very effective at it due to way too much practice. Dealt with a bunch of bullies while young and since i had no wish to be the loser, that meant they had to be shut down. Which is what happened. It became a bit of a game to me to see how long it would take a bully to get up the nerve to get in my face. I helped sometimes by playing Gomer Pyle. Until it was time to shut the silliness down. The place of choice was with an audience -- to let those people see that the bully was actually a clown.

Ah, well, i'm long since retired from that game. It actually wasn't much fun anyway.