dumping a bunch of stuff out of my head

[flamingsword]

Cut for anxiety about covid.
I am trying not to fall back into the hole that is thinking too much about the pandemic while dealing realistically with planning for a future that includes a long endemic stage of this plague. I want to be excited for things like ever seeing movies in the theater again, or having outdoor parties in the lulls between getting effective vaccines and the rise of a new variant. Meanwhile I was supposed to have my Day of Mourning yesterday, and I kinda didn't feel like it. I'm too grateful to think of grief right now, especially in light of one of my friends going through a trial separation and one having just lost her grandfather. I'm doing alright, all things considered. It's not going to be fine anytime soon, but for me, for now, I'm okay. And that's not insignificant.


CPR does not save very many people, especially as they get older. So if you have ever tried to resuscitate someone and failed to do so, it's not your fault. TV gave us all unrealistic expectations. Definitely try, but blame the cube-square law and entropy for it mostly only working on children.

The hardest sudoku puzzle I've ever tried, and I'm not halfway through it yet.

The practice of using ABA/"Applied Behavioral Analysis" on autistic children has a bad reputation for a reason. As one accredited therapy dog trainer says:

"And quite commonly on Twitter, I’ve seen people call ABA “dog training for children.”

When I see that, I tend to go on Twitter rants in reply to it, because from everything I have read and seen of ABA, it is NOT “dog training” for children.

… I would never treat a dog that way."

Playlist of the best of Yoko Kanno, reigning anime soundtrack queen.

12 signs you have a fake N95, KN95, or KF94 mask, from Wirecutter, the NYT product-rating sister-site.

Does anybody have good resources for retraining uncertainty tolerance for anxiety and avoidance? Most of the stuff I've seen so far trains you to act different without helping you feel different. Which is not very helpful.

Comments

[sabotabby]

I hear you. I want to be excited for indoor parties. I live in a blasted hellscape that is only fit for outdoor parties two months of the year, and I have given up on masks being anything other than pain.

I am resistant to acting different without feeling different. If other people can't manage my anxiety, that sounds like a them problem. Which is why all uncertainty tolerance training has not worked on me.

[flamingsword]

Texas is only fit for outdoor habitation in April and May and then again in October for a short while, so we're slightly less of a blasted hellscape, I guess? Still. It sucks that there's so little recourse for having "pre-existing conditions" than to just never see anyone you love during most of the year. It's starting to get to me, ngl.

[sabotabby]

I also just really don't like the outdoors.

[ex_flameandsong751]

I was Red Cross EMR certified twelve years ago, which is more intensive than their CPR training [though you learn CPR as part of the course], and in my course they tell you re: CPR straight up, "This is not the movies, it might not work, but you still need to try." And let me be blunt, doing CPR correctly requires strength and stamina, which I no longer have [why I haven't gotten re-certified]. I was fucking exhausted when I practiced CPR, and I was in somewhat better shape than I am now.

So yeah, CPR is a crapshoot but it's better than nothing.

I unfortunately have no resources for retraining uncertainty tolerance but also like Sabotabby I have a strong resistance to acting different without feeling different. Also, I have the kind of life where I can get away with avoiding a lot of my triggers [but not all of them] like frex I'm very claustrophobic and freak out in elevators but I rarely, rarely, rarely ever have to go in one and usually if I'm in a situation where I have to use an elevator it's also a situation where I can get away with being sedated in public with friend looking out for me. That sort of thing.

I'm sorry the lockdown confinement is so hard, that really sucks.