Self-help books and research

[flamingsword]

I am now combing the bibliography of The Gifts of Imperfection and my notes looking for other books to read on positive habits to build, because I don’t have especially many of them? I used to read a bunch of self-help books, and while they did help me stop doing toxic stuff to myself and others, they were not great at backing up positive habits with strategies to get them to work if you were the sort of person who needed self-help books. (I’m beginning to wonder how much of self help is written by neurotypical people but read by neurodiverse people.)

Anyhow, I now have a reading list on my library’s app, so hopefully that will work out.

Various links:

http://therapyinla.com/articles/article1108.html - basic exploration of the three strategies for shame in our culture

https://youtu.be/hrw68eID4Zk - the Neurobiology of Play, long

https://youtu.be/3vCKwoee27c - Sonya Renee Taylor on Cancel Culture and Accountability, TEDx Auckland

We could all use help processing the overarching grief of The Plague Times and growing into ourselves in the declining years of our our capitalist overlords. Feel free to throw therapy and self-help authors, links, and ideas that helped you sort stuff out in the comments?

Comments

[flamingsword]

https://open.spotify.com/episode/7DDza4W6k9KeyPTdU7qRFC - Unlocking Us podcast with Jason Karlawish on Alzheimer’s, Dementia, and how our political and social structures are failing caregivers.

[genderjumper]

I follow Dr. Karlawish all the damn time, how did I not know about this?!?!

[genderjumper]

Oh, I see, it's a single episode in someone else's podcast! Yes, I've probably seen similar comments elsewhere. He's a big voice in dementia research right now.

[flamingsword]

Sometimes interviewees don’t realize how big or well connected her audience is and forget to talk it up on their own social media.

[genderjumper]

Valid.

[princessofgeeks]

Over the years many books have helped me. Also I benefited from a really good psychologist after my second divorce.

Codependent No More by Beattie is a bit dated on gender roles but it really got to the heart of what I needed to change in the 90s when I started therapy.

The Artist's Way by Cameron helped me in so many ways, particularly her views on "crazymakers" and being a "shadow artist." Also her assertion that, yes, pursuing your art, whatever it is, is not selfish or self-indulgent and you don't have to be a rich, famous "rock star" to be a legitimate artist.

Being Peace by Thich Nhat Hanh is, I think, very helpful even for non-Buddhists. Just all the basics of the idea that "happiness is an inside job" and that we can have peace of mind even in bad times and bad circumstances.

Wishing you all the best.

[flamingsword]

Thank you for reminding me to put The Artist’s Way on my reading list.

Being Peace sounds interesting. Tell me more?

[princessofgeeks]

Being Peace is a very short introduction to the principles of Buddhism, with the focus on how you can create peace of mind for yourself regardless of external conditions.

The aphorism is something like, Instead of expecting the world to be carpeted, learn to put on your shoes.

But this author (from Viet Nam) writes about it with just laser like simplicity and such a buoyant heart. The book cheers me up every time I read it. And it's very short. Barely 100 pages. I go back to it again and again.

Another Buddhist book that has really helped me is Taking the Leap by Pema Chodron. Also quite short. It is extremely helpful in looking at the way your own mind works and redirecting its unhelpful habits.

[flamingsword]

Thanks!

[genderjumper]

Recommended companion reading: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/jun/14/the-mindfulness-conspiracy-capitalist-spirituality?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

[flamingsword]

I don’t think I’m in much danger of becoming less of a rabid socialist, but it is a timely reminder that focus on the self can be used against you. I think I read this when it was going around last year, and yeah, it does have some good points.