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"Kallisti" means the fun has arrived
Aug. 26th, 2004 10:10 pmSo: discord, like the apple. Estrangement. Not belonging. Not a big deal, but not a small one either. I'll be dealing with it for probably as long as I'm alive, working on translating the language in my head into the English people speak. It's good to have a hobby, something to do to pass the time, and there'll be a lot of time, so I might as well amuse myself, right? I decided once that not belonging here was no excuse to be unhappy. It was a good decision, Mac. Thanks for the subtle pointers.
I'm trying to create a user icon from a pic of me, but I don't have very many pictures of myself. Or rather, I do, but I don't know where they are. They aren't as important to me as the ones of my friends. They aren't as beautiful as the ones of the world, or as meaningful as the guy with the grocery bags at Tienanmen. I can't relate to myself by my image. I'm always looking out, not in.
I guess I keep track of myself more through my old correspondence than through images. It pulls me into the time reference instantly, my syntax showing me where I'm at in my head more clearly than the expression of that chic in the picture. I can never quite believe that she's me. She's too friendly-looking, too generic, too happy and decent. I *am* bits of all those things, but it doesn't feel relevant. I feel like I should have some sort of brightly colored warning imprinted on my skin, like those poisonous South American tree frogs. Not that I kill people. But it would save time if I looked as unnervingly foreign as I feel.
If I were a frog, I'd be sitting on a Chinese tank, reading the Iliad, and making fun of the translators bad attempts at elegiac hexameter. (w00t! silly)
I'm trying to create a user icon from a pic of me, but I don't have very many pictures of myself. Or rather, I do, but I don't know where they are. They aren't as important to me as the ones of my friends. They aren't as beautiful as the ones of the world, or as meaningful as the guy with the grocery bags at Tienanmen. I can't relate to myself by my image. I'm always looking out, not in.
I guess I keep track of myself more through my old correspondence than through images. It pulls me into the time reference instantly, my syntax showing me where I'm at in my head more clearly than the expression of that chic in the picture. I can never quite believe that she's me. She's too friendly-looking, too generic, too happy and decent. I *am* bits of all those things, but it doesn't feel relevant. I feel like I should have some sort of brightly colored warning imprinted on my skin, like those poisonous South American tree frogs. Not that I kill people. But it would save time if I looked as unnervingly foreign as I feel.
If I were a frog, I'd be sitting on a Chinese tank, reading the Iliad, and making fun of the translators bad attempts at elegiac hexameter. (w00t! silly)
