Hey, Bat.

[flamingsword]

I miss you sometimes the way a tooth is missing. There’s an unexpected empty spot somewhere vulnerable, and I can’t shake the feeling that I am less for that absence. Some delicate balance to the world is thrown off in ways that start with the personal and have domino effects into fundamental reality.

Maybe there are no physical constants. Maybe things only fall apart and never click together. But I have to believe some love is possible in the middle of this wide and uncertain suffering.

My divorce was final this time last year. I want to talk to you about it, but I would just say inanities because they don’t matter when you can’t hear them, and you will say nothing because the dead are missing like teeth in a broken smile.

Comments

[otter]

Offering hugs if you'd like them.

[minoanmiss]

I am sorry for the depth of grief which fueled this poetry.

[cosmolinguist]

<3

[sabotabby]

<3

[sabethea]

But the smile is still there, even with the broken teeth. People keep on smiling, sometimes forced, but sometimes - hopefully often - they mean it, at least a little. The empty space will still be there but the smile more unique because of it.

🤍

[extraarcha]

<3

[flamingsword]

I am always down for hugs. Sometimes I miss Batrick more than others, but it was occurring to me the other day that my divorce went through sometime around this last year. How he would have taken me out to get celebratory drinks and eat empanadas and possibly get a tattoo, bc that was kinda how the Bat do. And I just missed him suddenly, quite a lot more than my baseline, for long enough to be poetic about it. 😕

Again-🫂 again.

[flamingsword]

Thanks. I don’t always miss Batrick to that extent, but sometimes it feels like he is gone further away, if that makes sense? That they are extra-missing from my life and I can have no more of them. It feels monstrous and unfair, and not even in the monster-fucker kind of way he would have approved of.

[flamingsword]

💜

[flamingsword]

💜

[flamingsword]

I am making the executive decision to refuse to see any upsides to this. I get to wallow in grief sometimes. It’s a thing.

[flamingsword]

💜

[sabethea]

Reasonable