![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
flamingswordPics of my October: https://imgur.com/gallery/3IuDAs1 Early November pics forthcoming.
1. What are the words that you do not have yet? (Or, "for what do you not have words, yet?")
• I need words for “when you don’t respond to my bids for your attention, I feel unseen and alienated”.
• I need word for “I feel really seen by someone you’re jealous of, but my life is here with you and I don’t want to give up on that”.
• I need words for “I’m glad you are starting to come out of the depression (I think) so can I maybe get some more of your focus? Bc I feel neglected, and it’s not great.”
2. What do you need to say? (List as many things as necessary.)
All of the above. Plus some stuff to my Mom about my pronouns and how she has backslid into getting them wrong a lot lately. 🙄
3. "What are the tyrannies you swallow day by day and attempt to make your own, until you will sicken and die from them, still in silence?" (List as many as necessary today. Then write a new list tomorrow. And the day after.)
I don’t know that I understand attempting to make tyrannies my own? Like, are we talking about internalized forms of oppression I have inherited from family and culture? Or …?
4. If we have been "socialized to respect fear more than our own needs for language and definition," ask yourself: "What's the worst that could happen to me if I tell the truth?" (So, answer this today. And every day.)
We’re built to survive, not understand. So the worst that could happen is that I (or someone else) die. The worst that is likely to happen is that I get fired for being impolitic at work and have to go find another job. Seriously tho, we don’t become creatures of strict guidelines for no reason. We have fears for a reason. Maybe they’re not good enough reasons to toe the line all the time, and our fear is often at war with our self-determination and self-respect. But it at least has roots in our safety.
1. What are the words that you do not have yet? (Or, "for what do you not have words, yet?")
• I need words for “when you don’t respond to my bids for your attention, I feel unseen and alienated”.
• I need word for “I feel really seen by someone you’re jealous of, but my life is here with you and I don’t want to give up on that”.
• I need words for “I’m glad you are starting to come out of the depression (I think) so can I maybe get some more of your focus? Bc I feel neglected, and it’s not great.”
2. What do you need to say? (List as many things as necessary.)
All of the above. Plus some stuff to my Mom about my pronouns and how she has backslid into getting them wrong a lot lately. 🙄
3. "What are the tyrannies you swallow day by day and attempt to make your own, until you will sicken and die from them, still in silence?" (List as many as necessary today. Then write a new list tomorrow. And the day after.)
I don’t know that I understand attempting to make tyrannies my own? Like, are we talking about internalized forms of oppression I have inherited from family and culture? Or …?
4. If we have been "socialized to respect fear more than our own needs for language and definition," ask yourself: "What's the worst that could happen to me if I tell the truth?" (So, answer this today. And every day.)
We’re built to survive, not understand. So the worst that could happen is that I (or someone else) die. The worst that is likely to happen is that I get fired for being impolitic at work and have to go find another job. Seriously tho, we don’t become creatures of strict guidelines for no reason. We have fears for a reason. Maybe they’re not good enough reasons to toe the line all the time, and our fear is often at war with our self-determination and self-respect. But it at least has roots in our safety.
no subject
Date: 2023-11-05 06:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-11-06 05:09 am (UTC)...
Hoping others in your life find better emotional footing for supporting themselves, and being more present for you. 💗