Random relationship skills post!

[flamingsword]

Thing that I wrote that I found that should go here:

I have been doing some thinking and I feel that, for my demisexual self, the smidge of difference between “romantic” and “platonic” feelings is mostly a context difference of my sexual attraction to each person plus my understanding and projections of our relationship compatibility.

So, question: do you/other people you know get the relationship compatibility expectations mixed up in your romantic feelings? Is this part of the difference between allosexual and demisexual and asexual? Or is this just a me thing?

And I just don’t have any answers for the insides of other people’s heads. I’m going to start going back through my writings and emails and gathering up questions and thinky thoughts, and see what I can make of my social skill collection, including the masking techniques like mirroring, not staring directly at people’s eyes for more than 2 seconds straight, and slow rhythmic motions like counting to ten and checking the clock.

I will be doing a lot of blogging this winter I guess.

Comments

[ex_flameandsong751]

Yeah. I'm demi, and I think in some of my past relationships it was more of an intense squish on my end where I didn't know how to differentiate between levels of attraction/feeling. My last ex, for example, is someone I'm not sure I ever had actual romantic feelings for, it was more of a deep QPC connection [and losing the friendship hurt way more than losing the relationship, if that makes sense at all, but they had been my friend for years before we got involved]. There is an arcane science behind understanding the difference that I'm not sure I've mastered yet except in retrospect. TBH looking back at the last person I was interested in, I think it was also probably a "I really want to hang out and cuddle in a blanket fort" thing too, which is so confusing. Where is that line? Is there even a line? Magnets, how do they work?