we live on front porches
Nov. 8th, 2022 03:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
flamingswordThis afternoon I seem to be having swinging between sadness and ennui. So I have been crafting and ignoring the election, since there's nothing more I can be doing for it.
But now it is time to do the therapy journaling I should have done yesterday. Which, I don't really feel like doing? I am antsy and having feelings and full of buzzing.
Still.
How do you behave when triggered? (angry/judgmental/sad/resentful/jealous/fearful/disgusted?)
I get super duper judgmental, of myself and of others.
Three things that triggered your feelings (judgments) this week:
• Ghost not running the dishwasher overnight (even though I forgot to ask him).
• Ghost not putting his soda cans in the recycling bin.
• Realizing that employers can evaluate you like you're a second grader with a bad report card, but that you can't report-card them right back. Not in any meaningful way other than quitting.
Where does the root of this feeling come from?
I think a lot of the judgment comes from Ghost having gotten married to me and after years of living as a bachelor with a clean house, slowly slid into letting me do mozt of the non-vacuuming housework. And we need to have a talk about that, but it requires dealing with my own feelings first and ugh. Also: ugh, capitalism.
The deep roots of the problem seems to be that I feel lied to? I feel like I was kind of sold a bill of goods by my expectations that he would remain as functional as he was.
Circle back around to these reactions. How will you pause, think, and respond to them in the future?
•It is unfair to expect mind-reading, but fair to expect the mental load to be shared. Say: "Babe, can you run the dishwasher overnight when it's full?" And if he does not, then blog about my feelings and then talk to him.
• Basically the same thing, but this time talk to him about his not eating meat bc its unethical but then not recycling, which is confusing.
• continue to reject capitalism and maybe start an app for rating companies and giving them failing grades when they deserve it.
In other news, I need a better way than pinterest to come across good craft ideas and blogs.
https://moralefiber.blog/
But now it is time to do the therapy journaling I should have done yesterday. Which, I don't really feel like doing? I am antsy and having feelings and full of buzzing.
Still.
How do you behave when triggered? (angry/judgmental/sad/resentful/jealous/fearful/disgusted?)
I get super duper judgmental, of myself and of others.
Three things that triggered your feelings (judgments) this week:
• Ghost not running the dishwasher overnight (even though I forgot to ask him).
• Ghost not putting his soda cans in the recycling bin.
• Realizing that employers can evaluate you like you're a second grader with a bad report card, but that you can't report-card them right back. Not in any meaningful way other than quitting.
Where does the root of this feeling come from?
I think a lot of the judgment comes from Ghost having gotten married to me and after years of living as a bachelor with a clean house, slowly slid into letting me do mozt of the non-vacuuming housework. And we need to have a talk about that, but it requires dealing with my own feelings first and ugh. Also: ugh, capitalism.
The deep roots of the problem seems to be that I feel lied to? I feel like I was kind of sold a bill of goods by my expectations that he would remain as functional as he was.
Circle back around to these reactions. How will you pause, think, and respond to them in the future?
•It is unfair to expect mind-reading, but fair to expect the mental load to be shared. Say: "Babe, can you run the dishwasher overnight when it's full?" And if he does not, then blog about my feelings and then talk to him.
• Basically the same thing, but this time talk to him about his not eating meat bc its unethical but then not recycling, which is confusing.
• continue to reject capitalism and maybe start an app for rating companies and giving them failing grades when they deserve it.
In other news, I need a better way than pinterest to come across good craft ideas and blogs.
https://moralefiber.blog/