depression
Sep. 2nd, 2021 11:25 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
flamingswordYou know that stage of depression where the mists set in? That sense of gray distance between you and the world? It makes the world look both more beautiful and less comforting; it makes you feel a sharp bittersweet sadness. I am crying right now for basically no reason other than that I can still feel my feelings and all of them hurt.
I have that anxiety right now that says that nothing I can do is not going to be some kind of fuck-up, and that I should just not see people for a while. That if I see people while I am this small, vulnerable thing with no social aptitude, that I will lose the friends I still have. I may have to get off the internet for a while, maybe go do something that I have no trauma around or emotional investment in being good at.
I have that anxiety right now that says that nothing I can do is not going to be some kind of fuck-up, and that I should just not see people for a while. That if I see people while I am this small, vulnerable thing with no social aptitude, that I will lose the friends I still have. I may have to get off the internet for a while, maybe go do something that I have no trauma around or emotional investment in being good at.
no subject
Date: 2021-09-02 10:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-09-02 10:52 pm (UTC)