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flamingswordMost people have more control over their circles of friends than they believe they have. And for people with control issues their problem is the opposite of not having any control: they don't have as much control as they think they "should".
We do have a significant ability to influence our circles, but we cannot ethically control other people. Depending on your personality, you may be the type of person that could benefit from taking the initiative to improve your circles. Or, you may be the type of person who is better served by stopping trying to control others. The following tool is to help you examine and take control of your circles in a way that will be more beneficial for you.
Draw a concentric circle diagram of your circles of friends, with those emotionally closer to you toward the center.
What general observations do you have when looking at your circles?
What changes would you like to make to your circles? Who would you like to have closer in, or further out?
One person in my circles I could be more compassionate with is _____
One person in my circles I need to be more assertive with is _____
One person in my circles I need to get better at saying no to is _____
One person in my circles I can have fun with _____
One person in my circles I can't trust with serious things is _____
One person in my circles I need to stop trying to control is _____
One thing I need to accept about someone in my circle if I don't want to stay bitter is _____
One person in my circle I need to say thank you to is _____
One person in my circles I need to apologize to is _____
One person in my circles I would like to try to spend more time with is _____
[From The CBT Toolbox by Jeff Riggenbach]
We do have a significant ability to influence our circles, but we cannot ethically control other people. Depending on your personality, you may be the type of person that could benefit from taking the initiative to improve your circles. Or, you may be the type of person who is better served by stopping trying to control others. The following tool is to help you examine and take control of your circles in a way that will be more beneficial for you.
Draw a concentric circle diagram of your circles of friends, with those emotionally closer to you toward the center.
What general observations do you have when looking at your circles?
What changes would you like to make to your circles? Who would you like to have closer in, or further out?
One person in my circles I could be more compassionate with is _____
One person in my circles I need to be more assertive with is _____
One person in my circles I need to get better at saying no to is _____
One person in my circles I can have fun with _____
One person in my circles I can't trust with serious things is _____
One person in my circles I need to stop trying to control is _____
One thing I need to accept about someone in my circle if I don't want to stay bitter is _____
One person in my circle I need to say thank you to is _____
One person in my circles I need to apologize to is _____
One person in my circles I would like to try to spend more time with is _____
[From The CBT Toolbox by Jeff Riggenbach]