qualifications for dating us

[flamingsword]

Hmm.
Must be wiling to undergo a six month wait since last sexual partner and an STD test prior to sex. Safety reasons, not negotiable.
Must be weird. Pagan would be best, but spiritually open-minded is a close second.
Must be bisexual, or at very least like boys and be bi-snugglesome and kissy.
Must be out of your mind.
Must have enough stability to deal with the insanity of others as well as your own.
Must be interested in growth and the betterment of self. No bullshitting or pretending-to-grow-while-not-dealing.
Must have good luck, 'cause you'll be needing it.

Anything I'm missing?

Comments

[terriblelynne.livejournal.com]

1) Done.
2) Done.
3) I think done, depending on how you mean that (inserts: most of my favourite people are boys. I hug and cuddle most of them. I will generally happily kiss anyone who at least makes an effort not to grow facial hair.).
4) YMMV, it seems.
5) Done.
6) Never actually done...a work in progress.
7) Getting better all the time.

caution: bluntness ahead

[flamingsword.livejournal.com]

Let me lay this on the line. I have a low sex drive. Doug doesn't. Doug needs more sex, and I want to watch. And help, but my sexual needs are met and exceeded. You and the penetrative sex thing . . . not so much with the fun. I like you, and I would give this a try, but for one other factor: You're too much like me. Scarily over-informed girls should be one per relationship. And I say this because the Hermione-impersonating habit I have annoys me. You have it, too. And that's going to aggravate me, eventually. I'm sometimes irrational and whiny, and won't admit it for hours, and that's going to annoy you.

I have already tried once, dating someone my instincts said not to, and hey, y'know those instincts are there for a reason. It was hurtful to him, horrid for me, and I felt like an ass for even thinking that I could make it work. (Because I'm so smart I can fix anything, even other people . . .)
I'm never going into that situation again.
Sorry.

Thank you.

[(Anonymous)]

I appreciate the clarity. You know I'm mad smitten with you. I spent some time thinking it was mutual, some time thinking that it wasn't, and a lot of time in between being really damn confused. I'm kinda wishing we'd had this conversation a fairly long time ago, as I've sorta had my hopes up that if a lot of the ifs cleared (If Doug didn't hate me, If I could maybe kinda be into him, If I didn't make things move too fast or want to move in with y'all, etc) then there was a possibility.

I prefer bluntness, big time. I wasn't raised to be not-blunt like most girls. If you don't flat out tell me yes or no, I don't infer it.

For the record, I am okay with the poking with my boy. Just so you know. It took two years, therapy and patience. But I don't feel like, "wow, the wonderful world of unexplored penises is now wide open!" because of it, either. I don't do so well at trying to "get it up" for boys and I do tend to be fairly hesitant about falling for girls who are attached as a package deal to boys for that reason.

Everyone is sometimes irrational and whiny. I don't think that's enough of a reason to not get in a relationship with someone.

But I see where the other things are.

You'd never given me a flat out "no" before. You can't blame a smitten girl for continuing to try until she gets one.

Good luck, both of you. I hope you find what you're looking for. :-)

Re: caution: bluntness ahead

[terriblelynne.livejournal.com]

That anonymous comment is from me. My work computer is being a dildo. Sorry.

Re: caution: bluntness ahead

[flamingsword.livejournal.com]

*insert inappropriate visualization here*

Re: caution: bluntness ahead

[terriblelynne.livejournal.com]

That certain little computer is NOT sleeping with Mommy tonight.

[cluegirl.livejournal.com]

In my experience? Proximity is a plus. Any applicant without that would need a generous travel budget, methinks.

As the flow of conversation has revealed

[lord-of-entropy.livejournal.com]

I think you're looking for a curriculum vitae, not a resume, and potential applicants need to be aware of this...that this analogue leads brilliantly into horrible double entendres is only a bonus, I feel :-D