room for one more

[flamingsword]

I'm not convinced I should put this up here, as some will misunderstand, but that's the risk I run when I open my mouth on any subject.

I want to have more than one significant other.

I like things that are diverse and rare and different. Something doesn't have to be expensive or show-stopping to grab me by the attention-span. I have met a lot of unassuming people with whole worlds living in their heads, and it's catenative, connective to me. I want things to be complicated, because when things get too easy for me I stop paying attention. People deserve more attention than they get from me, and this would help. I want to explore the emotional landscape, and pioneer the mysteries of people and interaction.

I'm not looking for casual sex. I know that there's nothing wrong with it, but I have plenty of sex readily available, and it's not why I'm here talking to a computer screen. I want to wake up sometimes snuggled between warm bodies, comfortable. I want love and comfort and affection to be shared around and played with and pranked on. I want to face unfair odds in the bedroom, and I want to gang up on the rest of the world and make it shake in it's badly-fitting people's-republican boots. And two isn't much of a gang.

I want a boy, girl, tranvestite, alien, or time traveler to grin at us and look speculative. We've got so much to offer, and at such a little risk (if the world is going to break your heart anyway, why not let us try and have twice the fun?).

I want things for xenoix_13 that I can't be for him, and I want things that he can't be for me. It isn't about inadequacy, it's about the possibility of having more than just enough. Can't I want that? Is that greedy? Then I'm greedy, unashamed.

I want to challenge my balance and try to get past the vertigo of overabundant love, to surf on waves of it, wipe out and drown and be resuscitated in it so that mermaids point and laugh and think me crazy for braving these depths.

And now I'm waxing poetic which means it's time for bed.

Comments

[cluegirl.livejournal.com]

You know, the funny thing about this is the synchronicity of it. Because the King and I were just tonight having a conversation between ourselves about how he's thinking a lot about he wants to see and experience sides of me which he doesn't want aimed at, or executed upon himself, but in which he wants to share and revel. Like, for instance, the fact that with women, I am unfailingly dominant. He's (extremely) dominant himself, but never with me -- he doesn't want a sub (or a dom) as his wife, he wants an equal and a partner, but he still wants to provide that outlet for my dominant urges for me, even though/if he can't be there when they're satisfied.

People who haven't really put much thought into poly relationships don't understand that indescribable something that anchors the core of your First One. Ultimately for me, I will never, ever want anyone else to stand in the place where he stands for me -- but I am not prepared, however much I may like steak, to eat it and nothing else every night for the rest of my life. I love steak too much to allow myself to get bored with it like that.

So no, I don't see it as greedy.
But I'm betting you're not surprised to hear any of this from me, are you?
*Grin!*

[flamingsword.livejournal.com]

I'm only suprised that you commented at all. We don't see you much 'round these parts.

[cluegirl.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm around. May not have a lot to say most days, but I'm around nonetheless.

[terriblelynne.livejournal.com]

*quietly raises hand*

[flamingsword.livejournal.com]

Got a question? Or are you volunteering?

[terriblelynne.livejournal.com]

What do you think? *winks*

[flamingsword.livejournal.com]

I think that you aren't sexually interested in Doug. I wish you were. There are also a couple of stringent qualification for dating us, and one of them you don't meet: "Must be out of your damn mind".

I've tried dating people saner than myself and it ends badly for them. I think you don't need one more thing that's going to end badly.

[terriblelynne.livejournal.com]

1) Honestly, I can't tell. Which is more interested than I am in the vast majority of boys, but quite possibly not enough. And I do tend to avoid dating boy people because of that. I was surprised when I met him by how attractive I found him. From what you said, it sounded like he was too. But, all the same, I see the hesitation there.

2) And you think I'm saner than you because...?

3) Woman, if I worried about how everything I started was going to end...