Time (travellers) and Circumstance

[flamingsword]

I live in the future. As much as I can, I try to think along several points of my timeline and inter-compare versions of myself from each different point of view. A year in the past, I was depressed after my breakup with Xenoix, a year in the future I plan to be done figuring out the bounds of my neurological issues and hopefully have one more significant other. If past-me knew what current me was up to (married, protesting) and future me (medical testing, plans for further education) she would laugh hysterically about how it was all going to go horribly wrong but perhaps be grimly satisfied that we get through one more bout and believe we're now tough-minded enough to risk getting married and getting back into politics (which makes me grind my teeth in frustration whenever I think about it too long). Future me, as I lay dying, looks back on old me's and you's and loves us all, forgiving all foibles in the organic and confusing mess that is living in a world full of sensations and feelings inside a body made of happenstance.

Knowing that I have roots in the past and the future makes it easier for me to try social experiments inside my head like watching for every iteration of gender-specific behavior I use this week and keeping a tally for which gender cross-referenced by social situation. I think the multi-chrono-linear context is one of the challenges that I installed in my brain to keep me from ever being swallowed up by the ordinary, to keep me second guessing myself so that I could never get too bored. Someone taught me how to make more accurate use of my ability to predict patterns, and I have extrapolated all of my crazy wisdom from there. Knowing that I could no longer be normal even if I wanted to has let me relax by not needing to act out against the pressure to be normal. Now I'm less visibly freakish (mostly) but more psychologically strange, and it's lead to some odd style choices since I decided that not caring about the reception of my style's message means that I get to apply my reasonless dislike (clothes you can't kick ass in, for example) and focus on the craft of clarifying the communication of those messages.


And now:


(Hello from Endor!)

Comments

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

Aw, I love the "FLIST" one in particular!

[flamingsword.livejournal.com]

Thank you. As ever the rules are to steal anything you like, because what would be the point of my sharing on the internet if I'm going to be reserved about it?

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

I share your attitude! If anyone uses an icon I made I'm flattered. :D

[raasalhayya.livejournal.com]

I can't make "clothes you can't kick ass in" and "reasonless dislike" fit together in a sentence that makes sense. Help?

pardon my category error

[flamingsword.livejournal.com]

Even though I am not planning on needing to kick anyone's ass, it is still a possibility and I suppose it doesn't fall under reasonless dislike. The fact that I don't like prints, most patterns, clothes that look too new, primary red, the color pink, and a host of other style choices like fabrics and cuts - those are the things with no identifiable reason.

[elucreh.livejournal.com]

You and these are awesome.