trying a thing

(Click me! I get bigger)
Port d’Antibes (1917) - Paul Signac

How I pass as neurotypical, a breakdown

stim with my feet instead of my hands (squish my toes around in my shoes, alternate bouncing left and right heels, bounce my feet quietly, turn feet side to side)

Look at left eye 2 seconds, look at right eye for 2 seconds, look at mouth 3 seconds, repeat this triangle until the body shifts, and then scan for new body language. (because I have a "confrontational stare" unless I do this) If there is noise or a movement nearby, scan surroundings before re-establishing eye contact.

mirror body language, especially the body language of the person in the room with the most social power, unless they are in the grip of strong emotion that I don't want to amplify.

mirror vocal tones of feelings I want to encourage in conversation partners, but not tones I want to comfort, fix, or rebuke.

Hang an expression on my face/put a tone in my voice, even when I don't feel things very intensely. NT folx don't hide their feelings unless they are doing something they need to hide, so they consider it untrustworthy to not display anything.

When anxious and can't do regular stims or listen to music, count to 10 and check the clock/my watch. It communicates that I am anxious without having to say anything.

I'm never going to catch microexpressions, I'm not fast enough. But if something is confusing or too stereotypical, give it some thought to see if I'm being lied to.

Watch where strangers/new people's eyes are looking, and maintain enough situational awareness to see what they are avoiding looking at. This helps me know what they want and who/what intimidates them.

People like certainty, and they like people who are certain. Pretend to be certain about things but also give up my illusions lightly when they turn out to be untrue.

watch people's hands when they are doing something interesting, not their faces, bc they find it creepifying

Do not place my body between someone and the exit to a room. It is considered a dominance/threat display behaviour that most people do not appreciate.

Respond to a debated point with close to the same level of emotion and engagement as the person whose opinions are being disputed.

Respect personal space by inviting others into mine instead of invading theirs (Offer hugs, handshakes, fistbumps, etc.)

Get used to the speech pacing of my conversational partners so that I understand what they sound like when they are done talking. This keeps me from interrupting frequently enough to be considered rude.

figure out what gender norms I am ignoring or not complying with and call them out specifically, before I get friction.

And a few things that can't be broken down into bullet points:
Active Listening for Autistics
On "NO DRAMA" as a social fallacy
Pavlov For Dummies

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And that's the big stuff that I've got. I trained myself to stim with my feet instead of drumming my fingers and hands on things in Junior year of High School, and everything else since then has been building off of that unqualified success in learning to be less annoying to neurotypical people who don't realize how ableist they are.