WV, weddings, and the wonders of airline travel

The flight out went off without a hitch, we got picked up by my aunt and my cousin. We had Chinese food that was lackluster, but at least tasted like Chinese food on our way in to see my sister and pick up her car to borrow for the weekend. I got to watch the family debate how to pull down a sycamore tree that was slowly falling into the river behind their backyard and the pier attached to their property. Their backyard is right on the river and they share the pier with their neighbors, which seems ideal. So many big trees, which Ghost loved a lot.

Saturday itself went off pretty much without a hitch, lots of flower girls throwing flower petals at people and kids chasing each other around, but no fighting or inappropriate questions from Dad, who of course went with the "right to remain silent" on the letter I sent him. The wedding ceremony was quiet and heart-felt, and the reception was about 50 people's worth of potluck dinner in a great big backyard. (We brought pie from Perkins.)

Sunday we visited Gramma and went up the hill to see Dad and my step mom, who were civil but distant and saw my niece, who apparently did not know that I am her mother's sibling? Wups.

The return flight was supposed to be from 7:40 to 9:30, but wound up being from 9:10 to almost 11pm, so it was almost midnight before we got out of DFW airport. When we got home after picking up our car from long term parking, Sage had decided to hide somewhere for about ten minutes and give me a heart attack. He did eventually come meowing up to Ghost like nothing was wrong, because he's a little shit, so the last four hours of the trip were the second worst part of the trip.

The worst part of the trip was when one of my cousins came out to me as trans and said that, having seen the way the family treated me and ignored my pronouns completely, that they were never coming out to the family. And I can't blame them at all. Ghost was the only one who bothered correcting himself the single time he forgot.

It was, other than that, a decent trip.

Have a song - https://youtu.be/f-Msede1guE Deb Talan - Comfort

Sleep hygiene tips from a chronic insomniac

A friend of mine is having a bout of insomnia, and I figured I would share my collection of tricks that get my brain to STFU and sleep, despite it’s natural inclination to Be Like That.

• If you are sensitive to being woken up by intense smells or flavors, brush your teeth after dinner instead of before bed.

• Set a bedtime alarm to take your pills (melatonin, Benadryl, valerian root, most prescription meds) a couple hours before you want to fall asleep. Pills are not instantaneous. Plan ahead instead of laying in bed while your anxiety replays all the mistakes you’ve ever made while you wait to fall asleep.

• After that alarm goes off, get off social media and do something that slows your brain’s rate of stimulation. No edge of your seat TV or books that get you really engaged in suspense. You want your brain to calm down and ease into getting sleepy.

• Don’t take too much melatonin. The dose you are looking for is .3 to .5 milligrams. Yes, that low! The doses they sell for adults are ten times what your brain produces for itself, and having too much can cause your brain to dump what it doesn’t think it needs. And sometimes it yanks you out of your sleep cycles to do it. (I recommend taking the children’s kind, which are the proper dose … for adults.)

• Blue, high spectrum lights also tell your brain to kill your naturally occurring melatonin, so get a color temperature changing app for you phone and computer if you use them within three hours of falling asleep. Keep your room dark also, Bc moonlight is enough for sensitive people to have trouble falling asleep, wake them up in the night, or otherwise not get them good quality sleep.

• Stimulant behaviors like listening to loud music, intense house cleaning, exercise, very hot showers, dancing, and some BDSM practices are not recommended during the last two hours before bed. Dial down the intensity to get your best sleep hygiene.

• Meditation, journaling, writing tomorrow’s schedule in your day planner, or setting out outfits and things you will need for the next day can ease anxieties related to preparedness, and if done consistently before bed can become a ritual behavior that helps the brain wind down. Rituals like brushing hair, rubbing lotion into dry skin, or petting animals are also good bedtime rituals.

• For some people, taking a cool, but not cold, shower at the end of the night can help lower your heart rate and body temperature, preparing your brain for sleep.

• If your pets like to climb on you or jump onto the bed, try sleeping with them contained in a different part of the house. (I bribe mine to leave the bed with treats.) Sudden movement and noises can lower sleep quality and cause more restlessness and a higher resting heart rate, so your full night’s sleep should get even more restful without the fuzzbutts.

If you have any tricks that have worked for you, I would love to hear them.