waiting for the cool

I like watching birds of prey get rained on. I realized this driving home in the two minutes worth of rain that we just got. About a quarter of the sky was a wave of gunmetal grey, just a teasing sweep of rain to make you look cock-eyed at the Texas sky and go, "What the Hell?"
Someone needs to talk to this state and rough it up a little.

Today I'm wondering if the fact that people used to matter to me so much means that I'm broken somehow. Or was it broken then, and is now fixed? Or is it something I was pretending desperately back when I was still trying to act like I thought people were supposed to act? I'm not normal, which is really frustrating, because they write so many useful books for normal people that tell them how they work. Well, has anyone written *me* such an almanac? Dammit people! Do I have to do everything for myself?!?
Dumb question.

I want it to be fall already.