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Sep. 29th, 2004 08:18 pmAs proof that I'm getting all systems back up and running, the world gave me one of it's usual signs: raindrops falling on me when there are no clouds above me. Admittedly this is Texas, land of mucho crazy weather, but I've asked around, and this doesn't happen to other people as much as it does to me. This makes it about five times that this has happened. No rainbow, it's sunny out, there are no clouds above me although sometimes there will be occasional fluffy clouds in the sky, and then suddenly I feel several drops of rain on my skin. I always lick them off, because they're sweet, and maybe I have odd superstitions, and SHUT UP OKAY. And there are never rain marks on the pavement near me, just on me.
This only happens when I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing, clear board - all lights green. Now I just have to let the weirdness out. There's a state of mind where your particular craziness matches steps with the world, and amazing things just happen around you, like you get to dance with entropy itself. The confluence of energies causes something that looks like synchronicity, but I think it's the world being happy. And the laughter of the world causes things like raindrops from the infinite blue. Proof of the benevolence of the world is never something I've been missing.
I've never felt like I've belonged to this world quite like everyone else seems to. I've always felt out of place, like I was living in someone else's house. But I'm used to it, and it's not like anyone minds. So maybe it's not the same sort of existence I see other people having, but it's mine, and that'll have to be good enough. Not belonging where you are isn't a good enough reason to be unhappy all the time.
This only happens when I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing, clear board - all lights green. Now I just have to let the weirdness out. There's a state of mind where your particular craziness matches steps with the world, and amazing things just happen around you, like you get to dance with entropy itself. The confluence of energies causes something that looks like synchronicity, but I think it's the world being happy. And the laughter of the world causes things like raindrops from the infinite blue. Proof of the benevolence of the world is never something I've been missing.
I've never felt like I've belonged to this world quite like everyone else seems to. I've always felt out of place, like I was living in someone else's house. But I'm used to it, and it's not like anyone minds. So maybe it's not the same sort of existence I see other people having, but it's mine, and that'll have to be good enough. Not belonging where you are isn't a good enough reason to be unhappy all the time.
