my daddy issues, let me show you them

[flamingsword]

Soon I'll be back to talking about deep, funny things. Right now I'm taking a minute to apologize for this month's conversation always leading back to the daddy issues, and to say that I'm now as over it as I'm getting 'til I get resolution from his side of things. I've gotten a grip on his right to remain unknowable and die a stranger, but will be continuing the battle to persuade him to dialog with me.

I decided to exploit the chink I've found in his armor, where by casually feeding his self-loathing in small doses he's willing to let those barriers down. As long as there's no chance that I'm going to express concern about his well-being for his sake, he'll talk. I'm damaging him, but maybe it's time someone took some of that out of his hands. Is it healthier, do you think, to let someone else hurt you than to hurt yourself? Or is it all just masochism in the end?

If he's going to keep drinking now that it's complicating a medical condition he's developed, then he's already picking out coffins in his head. Now it's just a question of timing, and my leaving the situation alone will only buy time for my step-mom and half-brother to watch him kill himself. The way he's going ends in slow suicide, but if I change the status quo there are three possible outcomes instead of one: slow death, rapid death, and possibly death-delayed-several-years-by-health if I'm as infectious as I think I am. I dunno, he's probably immune. But wider possibilities can only be good in this situation.

In other news, go see Undead or Alive. It's a comedic zombie Western movie. That should be reason enough for most of you. Gingerbread! ;)

Comments

[lifeblender.livejournal.com]

It is not masochism, it's comradery among (perceived) fellow gallows-mates.

I am guessing that he has the somewhat common view which equates concern with judgment. I think that he can share because you aren't judging him, in his mind. I say this knowing that you are probably talking with him about how his behavior is affecting other people.

Feeding his self-loathing does not necessarily damage him, by the way. Some things are better dealt with (especially for guys) as sharp, present pains than as dull pains of guilt. I can't think of any situation in which talking about your problems on your own terms is a bad thing except during higher-priority emotional circumstances.

[flamingsword.livejournal.com]

I forgot about you yesterday because I am a terrible person. I haven't got much enthusiasm lately, and shouldn't have wasted your time. I'm sorry.

[rens-sanctuary.livejournal.com]

You can only do so much. Most people wouldn't bother to try to get their estranged whoever to talk to them. The outcome can only benefit you.

[sushi-slave.livejournal.com]

It is, in my opinion, most certainly all masochism in the end.