List of questions about social obligations in relationships

Who owes an apology for what and when/how is it best to do so?

Whose reponsibility is it to communicate decisions/feelings to social circles and how?

How and when do I communicate about visitors coming over, or social functions that I will be attending?

How do you calm yourself best, and how do I help you with that?

How do I help out at work events, or do I stay away?

How and what do we communicate to our families?

How do I communicate that I need space without upsetting you, or alternately, am I going to have to do work to calm you down when I am upset about something?

When do you need to hear verbal appreciation? About what areas of your life do you want validation?

How do we deal with gossip about us or our relationship?

What social occasions are welcome in our home, and which should be hosted elsewhere?

Do we get veto power over the people in our home?

What social boundaries do we each observe, and does anything about that bother us?

How much of our time will realistically be spent socializing?

When is it okay to ask for me to mediate? When is it okay for me to volunteer help in social situations?

How do we communicate with each other about feelings related to tge above topics?

How much alone time do I need, and how do I communicate that?

How does any of the above change when one of us is anxious or depressed?



the oh shit list:
What do we do in the event of a breakup? Who gets which friends in the divorce?

What do we do in the event that one of us has done something toxic or abusive? Who do we tell to help us work through this?

What is a reasonable time frame to work on each of our issues (bearing in mind that the answers are additive and not in parallel)?