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Quiz about knowing myself
May. 3rd, 2016 07:44 pmI'm blogging tonight and probably tomorrow because I've figured out that the dizzy spells are a very insidious and slow-moving ear and sinus infection. So I'm taking another quiz off of Gretchen Rubin's site and eating Ricola with minty nose things on that are supposed to help with breathing. Wish me luck.
If something is forbidden, do you want it less or more?
Neither. I used to do this thing to myself where I chased impossible things and then I read a book where the main character did this and it was so stupid and contrived for the plot that I decided that I was never going to do it to myself again. And I put the work in and now I don't even remember the book, just the lesson that I learned from it: want the stuff you want, but don't torture yourself with stuff just because you can't have it.
Is there an area of your life where you feel out of control? Especially in control?
I am not in control of my health, that's for certain. I have a fair amount of influence over most of my life, but I am still pretty pissed at my body's continuing refusal to do what I say and have more energy.
If you unexpectedly had a completely free afternoon, what would you do with that time?
I had a cancellation today and I ran errands. So exciting, right? But I have to use the free slots to do stuff that require spoons so that chores and stuff that needs to get done don't fall through the cracks and get lost.
Are you comfortable or uncomfortable in a disorderly environment?
Yes. I am both comfortable and uncomfortable in messy environments. Sometimes it bothers me and sometimes not, sometimes I like chaos and sometimes I like order. I'm not sure where the line is.
How much time do you spend looking for things you can’t find?
Since I got rid of most of my possessions and put the rest into bins according to what they are, I don't really spend much time looking for things. Unless it's my glasses. If I set these bastards down on a dark surface by accident they disappear and it takes forever to find because I can't see them to find them.
Are you motivated by competition?
No. I used to be, but I don't have to do that anymore to prove that I'm worth something.
“I really wish I could make consistent progress on my project to _______.”
Make beautiful things in my spare moments. But I think it might be one of those things I only want to want to unless I feel really bad on a particular day.
Do you find it easier to do things for other people than to do things for yourself?
Sometimes? I go through tides, and everything has it's ebb and flow. Sometimes I work more on stuff outside myself and sometimes I pull everything back inside my skin. It's less extreme than it used to be, but still very much a detectable tidal impulse.
Whom do you envy? Why?
The able-bodied, straight, rich, white men. Why do they get to walk around ignorant of how the world works for other people? Not cool, guys.
What do you lie about? For instance, a friend told me he’d been telling people that he walked to work, when in fact he almost never does.
I lie about being okay to my clients. I lie about not wanting anything to my housemates because I want stuff less than I want them to not feel bothered 89% of the time.
What did you do for fun when you were ten years old? Do you still do that activity–or would you like to do it?
I don't remember being ten. That's the year after Larry died and I had all the amnesic confabulation. I remember twelve. I remember writing bad poetry, sewing superhero clothes with Jillian, reading comics and drawing characters (also badly), and singing. Today my voice is not great and I get sick if I sing too much, and I don't draw, but everything else I still do in some fashion. I still make and repair clothes, write poetry, read comics, collect crazy friends, and try to be a superhero. I guess only some things have changed.
Do you work constantly? or think you should be working?
I do feel like I should be getting more done than I do, but the feeling only hits between noon and about eight p.m. now. It's better than it used to be, where I felt restless and useless ALL THE TIME. I have done a lot to forgive myself for not being as productive as a regular person, and I am starting to even have realistic metrics for myself within those boundaries. I'm not there YET obviously, but I'm closer than I was, and I will take the progress.
Neither. I used to do this thing to myself where I chased impossible things and then I read a book where the main character did this and it was so stupid and contrived for the plot that I decided that I was never going to do it to myself again. And I put the work in and now I don't even remember the book, just the lesson that I learned from it: want the stuff you want, but don't torture yourself with stuff just because you can't have it.
I am not in control of my health, that's for certain. I have a fair amount of influence over most of my life, but I am still pretty pissed at my body's continuing refusal to do what I say and have more energy.
I had a cancellation today and I ran errands. So exciting, right? But I have to use the free slots to do stuff that require spoons so that chores and stuff that needs to get done don't fall through the cracks and get lost.
Yes. I am both comfortable and uncomfortable in messy environments. Sometimes it bothers me and sometimes not, sometimes I like chaos and sometimes I like order. I'm not sure where the line is.
Since I got rid of most of my possessions and put the rest into bins according to what they are, I don't really spend much time looking for things. Unless it's my glasses. If I set these bastards down on a dark surface by accident they disappear and it takes forever to find because I can't see them to find them.
No. I used to be, but I don't have to do that anymore to prove that I'm worth something.
Make beautiful things in my spare moments. But I think it might be one of those things I only want to want to unless I feel really bad on a particular day.
Sometimes? I go through tides, and everything has it's ebb and flow. Sometimes I work more on stuff outside myself and sometimes I pull everything back inside my skin. It's less extreme than it used to be, but still very much a detectable tidal impulse.
The able-bodied, straight, rich, white men. Why do they get to walk around ignorant of how the world works for other people? Not cool, guys.
I lie about being okay to my clients. I lie about not wanting anything to my housemates because I want stuff less than I want them to not feel bothered 89% of the time.
I don't remember being ten. That's the year after Larry died and I had all the amnesic confabulation. I remember twelve. I remember writing bad poetry, sewing superhero clothes with Jillian, reading comics and drawing characters (also badly), and singing. Today my voice is not great and I get sick if I sing too much, and I don't draw, but everything else I still do in some fashion. I still make and repair clothes, write poetry, read comics, collect crazy friends, and try to be a superhero. I guess only some things have changed.
I do feel like I should be getting more done than I do, but the feeling only hits between noon and about eight p.m. now. It's better than it used to be, where I felt restless and useless ALL THE TIME. I have done a lot to forgive myself for not being as productive as a regular person, and I am starting to even have realistic metrics for myself within those boundaries. I'm not there YET obviously, but I'm closer than I was, and I will take the progress.