feelings I'm sorting through

In the wake of $500 of unexpected car repairs, I may not be going to CMA this spring. So all of the normal head-sorting that's supposed to happen there, the entire reason I started going, will need to be handled by me, outside ritual space. Won't this be fun?

I have come to the conclusion that I need my own personal meta: I can't just have feelings, I need to deconstruct my head so that I can have feelings about my feelings. ( Not all of this makes sense, but I needed to write it out. )