I think, had you chosen a paradigm of selective dishonesty, you would have turned out to be a fairly manipulative person. For all the chaos and seeming randomness you surround yourself with, you seem to firmly want to be - if not in control - in charge of it. It probably wouldn't have been much of a stretch to extend that tendency, coupled with your desire to help others, into a "I'll manipulate you into doing this, because I think it's good for you" paradigm. That isn't at all who you are now, of course, but I can see the fossil DNA in your personality that it could have developed from.
On the point of excelling at things: you and I have a similar problem. Being creative people, the things we do tend to have an "all-or-nothing" quality to them. We feel that dividing our time and effort is destructive, and it certainly can be. The trick is to find people who you have good chemistry with that share your interests and your excitement level. That way, you have constant interaction, but of a resonant instead of dissonant kind. I've found that artwork is always better when you have another artist you can hang out with and use as a sounding board/pressure valve/voice of common sense.
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2011-09-01 01:50 pm (UTC)On the point of excelling at things: you and I have a similar problem. Being creative people, the things we do tend to have an "all-or-nothing" quality to them. We feel that dividing our time and effort is destructive, and it certainly can be. The trick is to find people who you have good chemistry with that share your interests and your excitement level. That way, you have constant interaction, but of a resonant instead of dissonant kind. I've found that artwork is always better when you have another artist you can hang out with and use as a sounding board/pressure valve/voice of common sense.