it's official: this is the Year of Breaking

[flamingsword]

I turned off my feelings on Monday when Xenoix and I were arguing. Then I broke up with him. We'd gotten bad for each other, and changing yourself in ways you don't like to stay together isn't healthy. So: broken. Broken up. The words want to echo around and around in my head, but they're not allowed, because I pinned everything in place. I have put grief on pause until moving is over, because I may want to be a real girl, but I have got shit to do. I'm moving the big furniture on Sunday. Mostly everything is over here at the new place now.

Tuesday was pretty shaky, and I had to stay in company to keep my game face on. I took a personal day off work. My mom and I moved the bedframe and loads of boxes and talked and had lunch. I went to Tuesday Movie Night and saw The Frighteners and was not awkward at all (I think).

I'm reasonably proud of how much I've been getting done, even if I think I'm developing an ulcer with the prolonged suppression of emotions. Monday will be a bitch to deal with, but I'm prepared to deal with that. If you want to send me "live through the break-up" music, though, I'll be needing that next week.

Comments

[elucreh.livejournal.com]

Mixtapes I can do! But...pretty much only if you can stand to listen to country music.


(I'm sorry, luv. *HUGS*)

[flamingsword.livejournal.com]

I'm gaining more of an appreciation for country as my sister keeps sending me mixtapes with bits of bluegrass in. Sneaky sibling is sneaky.

[zenguin.livejournal.com]

My dear, dear friend.... I am so sorry you're feeling so much pain - whether you're tapping into it yet or not. My heart aches for your heartache.

I love you, and am sending the happiest of huggy-hugs your way.

It's been too longski...

[nyyki.livejournal.com]

I was talking with the mighty girlfriend, and we've decided we need to have you over for dinner. No, this is not some cannibalistic endeavor, it's us providing food and alcohol for you as a guest in my home (and hopefully hers in the future)
Don't put this off, let me know when you can make it and we'll schedule it around yours and her schedule. YOu'll love it, we'll love having you over, and it'll be a nice diversion. And yes, if you are mopey, then that's perfectly fine. There's really no excuse not to do this short of plagues of locusts or being eaten by jaguars.

[raasalhayya.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry I missed your text yesterday. I did not go to the DANISH meeting anyway. Can we get together when you're done moving?

[rens-sanctuary.livejournal.com]

I offer LOVE and HUGS. Also, Dan Seals, who did great country songs. These are the bittersweet songs and I hope they are helpful. If you hate them; that's okay too. Love you, Sister Who!

Everything That Glitters (Is Not Gold)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LUXCaXSTmns

They Rage On
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-dVTW1ZHuNc

Regrets

[lord-of-entropy.livejournal.com]

I hope you can avoid my standard observed time together~time afterwards for break-up angst.

I usually do break-up poetry

[lord-of-entropy.livejournal.com]

But this song seems like it would help at certain points & moods:



Through my BFF I know 2 of the Albuquerquians responsible

Re: A More Representive Sample

[lord-of-entropy.livejournal.com]

"Child, child, love while you can
The voice and the eyes and the soul of a man;
Never fear though it break your heart--
Out of the wound new joy will start;
Only love proudly and gladly and well,
Though love be heaven or love be hell."
~Sara Teasdale

[tanniynim.livejournal.com]

Do you have breaking dishes?

[queenofhalves]

sorry to hear that things are rough. you have my sympathies. =/

[pretty-pyrate.livejournal.com]

Bry told me of the song you have posted in the entry just after my break up. It's a good song and I listen to it frequently.

Stupid break up bug is stupid. That crap has been going around the last month. O.o

*huggles*