This comment is possibly going to sound like I'm trying to fix you but I swear I'm not. I'm just offering some advice on things that have helped me get through days when I felt like that, and you can take it or leave it, but I'll still be here. *hugs*
Feelings are tricky things, but I do believe overall it's better to have them. It helps if you can distance yourself when they get to be too much, though. I don't know if you've tried meditation, but just the act of centring myself and concentrating on my breathing for a few minutes will usually be enough to pull me back from the brink, even if it's just for long enough to get the hell away from everyone, find a lockable room and have a ten-minute freak out. Crying is good, even if it feels like shit at the time. Genuine tears contain higher concentrations of chemicals that cause negative emotions - basically, you flush the bad stuff out of your brain when you cry. Drink plenty of water if you do cry. If I'm having a seriously bad time, I will let myself cry, stop, go drink a pint of water, then start crying again if I have to. It's hardly ever that bad, but when it is, the semblance of control retained by forcing myself to hydrate is enough to compensate for the lack of control I feel at crying.
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2010-01-22 10:32 am (UTC)Feelings are tricky things, but I do believe overall it's better to have them. It helps if you can distance yourself when they get to be too much, though. I don't know if you've tried meditation, but just the act of centring myself and concentrating on my breathing for a few minutes will usually be enough to pull me back from the brink, even if it's just for long enough to get the hell away from everyone, find a lockable room and have a ten-minute freak out. Crying is good, even if it feels like shit at the time. Genuine tears contain higher concentrations of chemicals that cause negative emotions - basically, you flush the bad stuff out of your brain when you cry. Drink plenty of water if you do cry. If I'm having a seriously bad time, I will let myself cry, stop, go drink a pint of water, then start crying again if I have to. It's hardly ever that bad, but when it is, the semblance of control retained by forcing myself to hydrate is enough to compensate for the lack of control I feel at crying.