Relationship Theory and Toxicity Thinky-Thoughts

When I was with Xenoix, I didn't notice most of the toxic ways that he treated me because it was all stuff I did to myself, too. I think a lot of abusive behavior falls under that umbrella. We live in a society that teaches us to devalue ourselves and each other, and people don't realize how high the background radiation of toxicity is until they get enough self-knowledge and introspection to do any real good.

I am in a relationship theory Discord and it is dredging up some ways that I feel, some ways that I am, and some confusion that I have. Like this: I cannot tell the difference between nonsexual romance and friendship. At all. I don't know where the line is. There may not even be a line there. Like this: I can't define romance. According to how other people define it I am either dating most of my close friends, or I am not romantically involved with anyone, including Ghost and Merlin. IDEK.

So I am going to be intermittently studying relationship theory this winter and seeing where that takes me.

(And if you could define romance for me or the difference between romantic and sexual interest, I would be super interested in hearing your thoughts on this, since y'all are a pretty bright bunch.)