How To Not Hate Yourself

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Depression, noun: a state of mental health characterised by guilt, sensitivity, sadness, irritability, and despair.
Anxiety, noun: the feeling that something terrible is going to happen.
Shame, noun: the feeling of being bad or wrong inside
Self-hate, verb: the act of treating oneself poorly, the act of encouraging hate for oneself.

Terrible things happen to almost everyone, statistically. But if you believe the Just World Fallacy, it will convince you that you deserve the terrible things that happen to you if you have even a smidge of self-hatred. Thus:

Step 1: dismantle your belief that people get what they deserve. It rains on the just and the unjust alike. People do not "victimize themselves". The rich do not deserve their wealth any more than the poor deserve poverty. The healthy and the unhealthy are decided by circumstances and genetics. Life is unfair unless we make it fair.

Step 2: treat yourself well. If you do not, you will continue feeling like you deserve terrible things/abuse. You have to treat yourself well in order to be able to think well of yourself. Start by treating yourself neutrally, as one would treat a polite stranger, if you must. But gradually begin to talk to yourself as though you are not the loathsome creature your shame, anxiety, and depression tell you you must be. Refuse to do the capitalists work for them in grinding yourself down.

Step 3: stop comparing people. Not just yourself, but all people- no two persons or sets of circumstances are exactly alike, and it is largely useless to compare their personalities, accomplishments, or progress. It is a tool of shame, and a stumbling block propping open the door to self hate and hatred of others.

Step 4: forgive yourself. To work on the roots of your shame feelings, it is needful that you forgive yourself for all the times you were not perfect. Guilt, the feeling of having done something bad, motivates you to grow and do better. Shame, the feeling of being something bad, is paralyzing and not useful. So forgive yourself and work on the beliefs supporting the structure of your shame until it is a dried husk of itself.

Step 5: be free.