I have some friends who think that since I'm really stable and don't get depressed often, that I must not get depressive thoughts often, which ... would be nice, if it were true? So now you guys get to look inside my head at what happens on a bad day. Superbetter has a Quest challenge to name five negative thoughts that occurred to you recently, and to dispute them using three specific tools. So this is stuff that happened during yesterdays' low patch.
I. Ghost should just leave me because I'm a resource drain.
II. I am going to get progressively worse, and then die.
III. I should give away my art supplies because I will never have the energy to use half of it.
IV. I should break up with![[profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
otatma. It's not fair to expect him to wait around for me to have time for him where I feel like having a boyfriend.
V. Maybe I should just get rid of all my friends and possessions and go live in my mother's guestroom*.
Look at all likely causes for an event that's challenging you.
I. and IV. are caused by me taking other people's decisions away from them so that I can feel secure in being forever alone and not have to worry about losing other people's love by being unhealthy/unworthy. It's my need for certainty winning out over my need for happiness, because when I hurt, happiness is a foreign concept from some other continent where they speak funny sounding languages and wear birds in their hair.
Write down your thoughts, citing evidence both for and against your thought or reaction being accurate.
II. could happen, but since medical science tends to get better and not worse and my disease hits rich people as well as poor, it is getting well funded research. I could suddenly start progressing faster, but that is unlikely, and I am already taking steps to slow down the decline in my health.
Are the results all that bad? Am I blowing this out of proportion? How can I get what I want in a different way?
III. and V. Every time I'm about to move house I start thinking about giving things away. It makes people think I'm suicidal maybe, but there's nothing wrong with giving things away as long as I'm happy to do so. I am making too big a deal out of the move and out of the amount of possessions I own, since several people have offered to help move us, and were quite sincere. And I am being fatalistic about moving in with my mother because I am in pain and I automatically start disaster planning for worst case scenarios, and that is currently it.
(*and be miserable forever.)
I. Ghost should just leave me because I'm a resource drain.
II. I am going to get progressively worse, and then die.
III. I should give away my art supplies because I will never have the energy to use half of it.
IV. I should break up with
otatma. It's not fair to expect him to wait around for me to have time for him where I feel like having a boyfriend. V. Maybe I should just get rid of all my friends and possessions and go live in my mother's guestroom*.
Look at all likely causes for an event that's challenging you.
I. and IV. are caused by me taking other people's decisions away from them so that I can feel secure in being forever alone and not have to worry about losing other people's love by being unhealthy/unworthy. It's my need for certainty winning out over my need for happiness, because when I hurt, happiness is a foreign concept from some other continent where they speak funny sounding languages and wear birds in their hair.
Write down your thoughts, citing evidence both for and against your thought or reaction being accurate.
II. could happen, but since medical science tends to get better and not worse and my disease hits rich people as well as poor, it is getting well funded research. I could suddenly start progressing faster, but that is unlikely, and I am already taking steps to slow down the decline in my health.
Are the results all that bad? Am I blowing this out of proportion? How can I get what I want in a different way?
III. and V. Every time I'm about to move house I start thinking about giving things away. It makes people think I'm suicidal maybe, but there's nothing wrong with giving things away as long as I'm happy to do so. I am making too big a deal out of the move and out of the amount of possessions I own, since several people have offered to help move us, and were quite sincere. And I am being fatalistic about moving in with my mother because I am in pain and I automatically start disaster planning for worst case scenarios, and that is currently it.
(*and be miserable forever.)