Jan. 27th, 2009

flamingsword: “in my defense, I was left unsupervised” (Default)
I'm only religious in the "I hope there are gods so I can laugh at them, too" sense, but I have a fair number of beliefs that do not require the existence of a god of any kind.

I believe in the Wile E. Coyote Theory of Not Looking Down. Some people I know scoff at what they call the "fake it 'til you make it" approach to attaining one's desires. Logically, there is little you can do if you do not at least attempt things you are uncertain about succeeding at. Is it fake to try to be a different way than you are? Sometimes you find access to new pieces of yourself in the play, and how will you find all of what you are if you never test the bounds of what you are not? I believe in not reflecting on whether you can walk on air until you can feel the ground beneath your feet again. I believe in finding out.

I believe that life hurts, but that it's okay. It's not masochism, exactly: it's just that experience would be missing something without it, that I would be some shallow thing I did not like without it. I believe that pain is finite and that I am not. It's just pain, and I'm bigger than it is, will exist after it passes. You may not be the same way, but I think some people are.

I believe that things are only impossible until they're not.

I believe that Murphy's Law rules the world, unconquerable. That said, I'm willing to keep testing that belief by attempting to wrest control from regular disorder and establish my own disorder. Dammit.

Like pTerry, I believe in reasonably priced love and that there never was an apple that wasn't worth the trouble you got into for eating it.

I believe that regular contact with the inexplicable strengthens the cognitive dissonance load tolerance of the human mind. Being forced to deal with concepts you have no context for broadens your perspective and keeps you open to the possibility that you have things yet to learn that will make what you know now appear like life seen through a funhouse mirror.



What do you believe? What do you disbelieve?
flamingsword: “in my defense, I was left unsupervised” (Default)
And let me just say that professional jealousy is weird. I'm proud of myself for figuring it out, and for triaging it for future fixing, but until the economy picks back up, some of my coworkers aren't going to be doing as well as they had been, and most of my regulars are pain clients, they're not going anywhere. There's a little less friendly tolerance of me than there was before Thanksgiving, a little less warmth to the breakroom conversations, more odd looks. No, I haven't pissed anyone off, and even if I did, the two other people who are still booked wouldn't be getting similar treatment. >:[

It's very human to feel threatened by someone who has the things that you want, but it's not a part of humanity I can share in. So I just get to be uncomfortable in a new way for a bit.

Whatever.

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flamingsword: “in my defense, I was left unsupervised” (Default)
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