femininity is a creepy crawly feeling

I usually walk on the dividing line between what's masculine and feminine. I'll jump off the fence I'm balancing on to go hang out with people in their own headspace, but when I'm by myself I have no specific gender.

Today, things are different. I'm reasonlessly . . . girly. I'm liking the thoughts of pink things and puppies and baby muggles. It's faintly nauseating. But I agreed to this crazy plan because I've been running low on crazy lately, and it was getting damned boring. So this is what it's like to be femme. Maybe I'll get comfortable with it, eventually. Like sitting in a tub of hot water. Or that's what I'm hoping. Because other people won't look at me reacting like a girl as being anything different, but so far every time I do it I want to cringe and shudder.


This is not right! This is slimy and gross and wrong!!!