To be honest I always felt you at least had tendencies, and to me the main difference between "tendencies" and "on the spectrum" is how much of an impact it has on your life. I didn't want to say anything, though, because as I'm sure you can tell from what you've been feeling since you took the test, it's a big change in your perception of yourself, and I didn't feel it was right for me to push you in that direction.
Things like the toe-walking you mention in your comment to azuzil are typical of Aspies - in fact, everything you mentioned there is pretty much textbook. I know I've never met you face to face, but based on your LJ I'd say you're probably the highest-functioning other Aspie I've ever "met" - which is kind of comforting for me. Like you, I have worked really hard to reach the social level that I'm at.
Shortly before I was diagnosed, about halfway through college, my parents took me aside and told me that they thought I needed to work harder on my social interactions, because it was so vital to success in life and I was so very book smart that surely I could manage if I just tried a little. It was absolutely devastating, because I was already trying so hard, and not only was it not being acknowledged or rewarded, but I was coming up so short that they didn't even think I cared. So I want to say - honestly, and hopefully without sounding condescending or anything - that you're really doing a spectacular job; that you're a successful adult coping with a world that is not designed to cater to how your brain works; and now you have, not an excuse, but a reason for some of the problems you face that other people don't seem to, and a framework to make it easier for you to deal with them. You make me proud. Most of the diagnosed Aspies I know are willing to push their boundaries and try to interact more socially, but for almost all of them, it's small things like meeting one person for lunch once a week. You've dealt with all of this without even knowing it, and you've come farther than most of them ever will.
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Date: 2010-02-16 06:08 pm (UTC)Things like the toe-walking you mention in your comment to
Shortly before I was diagnosed, about halfway through college, my parents took me aside and told me that they thought I needed to work harder on my social interactions, because it was so vital to success in life and I was so very book smart that surely I could manage if I just tried a little. It was absolutely devastating, because I was already trying so hard, and not only was it not being acknowledged or rewarded, but I was coming up so short that they didn't even think I cared. So I want to say - honestly, and hopefully without sounding condescending or anything - that you're really doing a spectacular job; that you're a successful adult coping with a world that is not designed to cater to how your brain works; and now you have, not an excuse, but a reason for some of the problems you face that other people don't seem to, and a framework to make it easier for you to deal with them. You make me proud. Most of the diagnosed Aspies I know are willing to push their boundaries and try to interact more socially, but for almost all of them, it's small things like meeting one person for lunch once a week. You've dealt with all of this without even knowing it, and you've come farther than most of them ever will.