why I am freaked out *this time*

[flamingsword]

So Ghost and I don't argue. I mean - we may debate the ethicality of vampire genocide in the True Blood universe and other geekery, but we don't have relationship arguments. We have yet to have a problem more pressing than which configuration of locked or unlocked means that the dishes in the dishwasher are clean. I don't . . . this NEVER HAPPENS. I realize that there is some BS about not looking gift horses in the mouth, but I am looking into this equine grin and it seems to have a platinum grill.

I DON'T GET IT.

I look back to previous relationships and they were not like this and I have no context and so don't even know where to start identifying whether this is even a problem. HELP!!!

Comments

[kadairk.livejournal.com]

So, chill and breathe.

No two relationships are going to be the same. We use previous experiences to *predict* current patterns, but reality doesn't always match our predictions. (See "weather forecasting".)

If you don't argue, but do communicate about important things, then accept and trust that this is how *this* relationship works, and add it to your file of relationship models. Also realize that one day you might have an argument, but don't be too thrown by that should it happen.

[jslorentz.livejournal.com]

She speaks from experience!

[tanniynim.livejournal.com]

The wife and I also do not have many "arguments." We sometimes have emotional discussions and occasionally those emotions move a little out of our control, bordering the "heated conversation/argument line", but VERY RARELY in our ~6 years of being together have we had an "argument."

I used plenty of quotes there, because language is a fluid thing and we'd have to be in person defining everything clearly to get it right, but what I'm saying is that this isn't a problem to worry about.

Well, it's not a problem so as long as you **DO** discuss important topics and **OFTEN** say honest things the other person won't like and **STILL** don't devolve into arguing. If this is the case, then you're just both mature and reasonably in control of your emotions and not trying to take advantage of each other.

[dakashy.livejournal.com]

I always thought that fighting in a relationship was not right.

I grew up watching my mother and father argue, then my mother and all her new husbands argue, and I -knew- to the marrow of my bones that wasn't right.

So now I don't argue with my husband.

[elucreh.livejournal.com]

Pretty much what she said. ^_^ Love you!

[elucreh.livejournal.com]

Er, that first person, that is. *facepalm of opening tabs and going back to work*

[franceschina.livejournal.com]

Yep, as long as communication is happening, not arguing is a pretty good thing. My parents argued pretty much at the drop of a hat, but S. and I rarely do.