flamingsword: “in my defense, I was left unsupervised” (Default)
flamingsword ([personal profile] flamingsword) wrote2021-12-06 09:14 pm
Entry tags:

6 month journal review

I have started a sweater and read the last several months of my journal today, and a few things stand out to me.

I know where the being friend-dumped trauma comes from, but without better living through chemistry I’m still not sure what to do about it, and so have done nothing, which is unacceptable. I need to look up psychotherapy trauma trigger removal and see if there’s any progress made in the last ten years that I won’t have heard about.

I need to start drafting the next installments of the CBT therapy posts, the Sea of Doubt posts, and the Social Cohesion Among Geeks essay.

& I still have not called the damn dentist. Who I have needed to call since this April. Brain, why.

I am thinking of doing Snowflake again in January, and looking forward to the hygge vibes it inspires in the darkest part of the year. But for now, I’m going to just focus on trying to do more morning pages and try to remember to lock the posts, which I am apparently bad about forgetting.
sabotabby: (doom doom doom)

[personal profile] sabotabby 2021-12-07 12:29 pm (UTC)(link)
Friend dump trauma isn't talked about enough. I mean I'm listening to a podcast about it, but it's definitely been more traumatic than most of my breakups.
sabotabby: gritty with the text sometimes monstrous always antifascist (gritty)

[personal profile] sabotabby 2021-12-07 09:46 pm (UTC)(link)
https://fuckingcancelled.libsyn.com/

I'm fascinated by it, which is not an endorsement or saying that it's good. I think it's a conversation that needs to happen, and I disagree with at least half and sometimes up to 75% of what they say on it. I'm stealth plugging it because I think it's an interesting conversation starter and I want other folks to have conversations with about it.
princessofgeeks: (Default)

[personal profile] princessofgeeks 2021-12-07 12:55 pm (UTC)(link)
Reading back over journals is so helpful!
ex_flameandsong751: An androgynous-looking guy: short grey hair under rainbow cat ears hat, wearing silver Magen David and black t-shirt, making a peace sign, background rainbow bokeh. (neuroweird: "normal people")

[personal profile] ex_flameandsong751 2021-12-07 10:21 pm (UTC)(link)
I have friend dump trauma HARDCORE which is one of the reasons why I'm reserved/skittish about adding new people. In fact, it's also why I don't do Snowflake anymore (despite me enjoying winter and hygge vibes) - I've had people add me on friending memes like Snowflake because I look cool/interesting and promptly never interact with me again. That's not the cause of my friend dump trauma (I don't want to elaborate on specific scenarios here for various reasons), I didn't get close enough to them, but it does trigger and rip open the wounds from the trauma where I did lose close friends, and makes me wonder WTF is wrong with me and if I just give off weirdo vibes or something.

All this is to say, I don't think friend dump trauma gets discussed often enough but it is IMO on par with the intensity of a romantic breakup (if not worse), especially for those of us who fall on the ace/aro spectrum *waves hand* so friendships are kind of all we've got sometimes.

So yeah if you find anything interesting in your research I am down for reading it.

LOL god "brain, why" re: procrastinating is A MOOD.
numb3r_5ev3n: Dragon pendant I got at a renfaire. (Default)

[personal profile] numb3r_5ev3n 2021-12-08 04:11 am (UTC)(link)
Sometimes I wish "chemistry" were more accessible.