flamingsword: “in my defense, I was left unsupervised” (Default)
flamingsword ([personal profile] flamingsword) wrote2009-04-09 09:22 pm

bored to depth

My brain does this thing when there are deep, important conversations that I'd rather avoid having with myself, where it distracts me with cool things that will keep me busy in contemplation for a while. I'm getting better at just noting them down for later and moving on to the more important stuff.

# People like me aren't dangerous because we're bad, we're dangerous because we defy classification. There can be no such thing as informed consent when dealing with the unquantifiable. That's why people are afraid of the unknown. It's a consent issue.

# We don't get to choose what we mean to other people, and what people mean to us is not what they are, no matter how much they mean to us. It's the first time I've been able to articulate that, but I've held the belief for a long time. Now I can back-figure for the reactions of people who don't believe that, and have a more accurate view of them.

# My spiritual practice involves dirt. I don't know how I keep forgetting that being in dirt and fixing my garden reconnects me to myself, but there it is.

# I realized that broadening my experiences would give me more, quantitatively, in common with other people, but that was after I was already doing it. I think I started because I was frustrated with what I would eventually learn to call re-contexting. I saw the same facts other people had, but I knew I didn't see them in the same way, and I was tired of being confused at the difference.

[identity profile] elucreh.livejournal.com 2009-04-10 02:37 am (UTC)(link)
Re: the last, I am envious of how brave you are. I have been confronted with my confusion at the difference over and OVER this week, and mostly it makes me blink in a hurt and confused fashion and then refuse to deal with it.

[identity profile] flamingsword.livejournal.com 2009-04-12 04:31 am (UTC)(link)
It's not bravery, not really. I'm kind of emotionally masochistic, and I don't mind inflicting other people on myself. I need breaks sometimes, but I eventually made my peace with the fact that I would be bored if it were the other way, if we were alike and interaction was painless.

Our differences create a depth and richness to human experience that would not exist if we were more alike. We would not have as much reason to reach out to each other if our experiences were so similar that we didn't gain any perspective from each other's involvement. The pain is an acceptable price to me to stay interested.

[identity profile] raasalhayya.livejournal.com 2009-04-10 04:17 am (UTC)(link)
I have dirt. Will you please come over and connect with it sometime? I think it gets lonely.

[identity profile] flamingsword.livejournal.com 2009-04-12 04:05 am (UTC)(link)
You live pretty far away, but if you'd like to arrange a play date, I'm open. :)

[identity profile] jslorentz.livejournal.com 2009-04-12 04:08 pm (UTC)(link)
Brilliant. It resonates strongly with my creative life and my poly life. I want more! ;)