Pushing past the emotional reactions to this entire topic, I keep coming back to the first time we discussed you marrying Ghost. With you elsewhere, how will this affect the original goal for you two formalizing the relationship? Can you be there for him when you're not around him day to day? I'm asking these as honest questions and with no other dynamic at work. How will his life change if you move, and will this leave him more at risk? You told me you were entering the marriage with a strong caretaker component, has that risk gone away or reduced to the point that the reason for you to be legally bound or share space is no longer a factor? I know things are uncomfortable for you right now, and that's a valid issue. But there are four relationships tied into this particular situation, and exploring what changes will do to all four of them is smart, so nothing jumps out and says "Boo!" when you're not expecting it.