Wanting a super-short pageboy hair cut was absolutely egg behaviour on my part, and I could not have explained at the time why I wanted it.

I also think someone being asked about/called out for such a haircut would elicit the same response from an egg/baby queer as well as a gender essentialist. The blush/stammer or outright defensive behavior.

If we take such a reaction as a "good faith" sign, it would just be "good faith" to internally acknowledge back "ahhh...still figuring yourself out. You need to take a few more steps before being 'open.'"

We need to ask questions about where stuff came from and what it means. Sometimes a cigar is not just a cigar, etc.. When people pick a style, maybe we should start asking what it's going to mean to the people who invented it, or at least have some idea who those inventors actually were.

I think you may be onto something here. It may be time to bring Polari back as a way to say "I like your hair. Very bibi" (Bibi meaning "bisexual" in Polari) without completely coming out and saying it. If the other person isn't a community member "Oh, I was just saying I like your hair, very stylish."

I have heard the femme lesbians are having a similar struggle of their own. "We look straight...what kind of tell can we come up with to show other women that every homo was intended in that compliment?" (as opposed to the ever-toxic "no homo" 🙄 - sometimes a cigar can also just be a cigar)