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flamingsword: Aziraphale, the flaming sword, and Crowley (Default)
Where is my policy wonk, resident
Forward, dyed-in-the-wool die-hard try-hard?
We don't need this bully as president;
The job is rough enough. There's no reward
For circling around the world with lies.
His tactics aren't enough to fix his mess;
Aggression always fails where hard work thrives.
A steady hand can steer through most distress
And her hands at the wheel would guide us straight
Instead of into walls and slippery slopes.
She has proved every chance to validate
While he's imploded and deposed all hopes.
Madam President - she would understand
Every rock you throw must somewhere land.
-Feb 2017
flamingsword: Aziraphale, the flaming sword, and Crowley (Default)
 I am grateful for hot baths, sharing smellgoods with friends, Argentinian bakeries, hair dye, and regular clients. I am glad in my soul for returning spoons, foresight, being able to take care of myself while I take care of other people, and activism. I am thankful that we are on this journey so near to one another that our paths could cross. Thank you. 
flamingsword: Aziraphale, the flaming sword, and Crowley (Default)
 The you that doesn't talk but stays,
Calmly sits though joy and woe alike:
Perhaps this you loves me, but never says.
Against such love, silence would be no strike
If but our friendship weren't in languor writ.
Frustrated with words, I turn still to words:
Relentless verbal thing - always been it, 
And difficult like keeping cats in herds.
Meter and verse must have their game to play
If you'll not put your feelings into rhyme.
So must I judge your acts, not what you say,
And your logophobe heart must keep the time.
If with your words you will not pay my due
Then must I give a talking-to to you. 
-Jan 2017
flamingsword: Aziraphale, the flaming sword, and Crowley (Default)
 You've grown old, but in one way I'm older. 
When I talk of being dead your shoulders
Don't move down from there like it got colder.
Take comfort: it's not too hot or cold;
It's not at all like being sick or old,
Just darkness, peace, like nothing we've been told.
My deaths have been commas, odd ... pauses
In a winding sentence full of clauses.
Pardon me my claudicated causes,
They were not like what ends your sentence now.
The closing curtain falls and we must bow.
If you'd like to let go, I'll show you how. 

- May 2009
flamingsword: Aziraphale, the flaming sword, and Crowley (Default)
An IRL friend asked for my help, and you know how I get. Research ahoy!

 The AVENwiki Lexicon
 is the glossary of terms you might need for quick reference when reading pages on gender theory. Most of these links will have their own explanations in the text, but just in case. 

Gender identity is descriptive rather than prescriptive. It seeks to be a useful adjective rather than an exact formula or rulebook. 

A FAQ for questions on gender, because tumblr is awesomesauce for that. 

A helpful gingerbread person explains, in visual terms:

A helpful gingerbread person explains gender and sexuality.
flamingsword: Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not. (Seuss Activism)
Truth, Beauty, Freedom, Love, Justice, Mercy, Diligence

Envisioning what the world would be like if it held different goals is part of activism. But you have to clarify your ideals and do the hard work of imagining completely new things. 

What would the world look like if it valued those seven ideals over

Power, Security, Money, Purity, Exclusivity, Prestige, Competition

I'll be thinking about that over the next few days, trying to imagine specific things that would happen, and then how to bring them about. What can I do, what can I advocate for in my life that will bring about the changes I want the world to share?
flamingsword: Black Widow appears in a telephoto lens sight. (Black Widow)
a thing that wants by magdaliny

“Hey, Steve,” Bucky says. “We’re gonna find Nat a dame, okay?”

Natasha shoves him into the pool.

This story turned my bad morning around. I had stress dreams and anxiety last night, so I woke up today feeling stiff and ancient. I still feel stiff and ancient, but I don't feel as bad about that now that I have had sufficient cuteness therapy.

Also has really hot BlackHill porn.
flamingsword: Aziraphale, the flaming sword, and Crowley (Default)
I am grateful for the celebration of giving that makes winter the holiday season. I am grateful for the Tylers, for Christmas parties in below freezing weather, and for good companionship. I am grateful for The Lion, for pudding based alcoholic drinks, and for mulled wine and tea. I am grateful for Zoey and Brett and maybe for Shane, too. New friendships are good.
flamingsword: Aziraphale, the flaming sword, and Crowley (Default)

When talking to conservatives or anyone who does not believe as you do, it is necessary to reframe you arguments in terms of what is morally important to your audience. To further this goal, here are some of the arguments that will have a chance of swaying opinion toward meeting in the middle.

Russia interfered in our election. - Russia interfered with our freedom to choose (freedom) and violated the sanctity of the vote (sanctity). By allowing this to go unchallenged, Trump is betraying the freedom of the American people.

Trump's conflicts of interest - There are rules laid down by the founding fathers (respect for authority) about conflicts of interest to stave off tyranny. Trump is violating those rules for his own greed (moral corruption).

Universal Healthcare & Obamacare- "Conservatives were more likely to support universal health care when they read an argument said more uninsured people led to “more unclean, infected, and diseased Americans.”" (purity)

Immigration - Immigrants love America enough to leave their country and become Americans (patriotism). They break fewer laws and are model citizens. [If proof is needed, bring up the Wall Street Journal article that explains the lower crime rate. Immigrants are 40% as likely to commit a crime as a birthright citizen.]

Reproductive rights - Women are the authorities on their own bodies. We can either respect their authority or violate their trust. (respect for authority, sanctity)

Muslim database - Our country was founded (respect for authority) on religious freedom (freedom). Muslim Americans are no less patriotic than any other citizens (patriotism).

Criminal Justice Reform - Officers with clean records are in favor of reform. (Respect for authority, purity)

Climate Change - Pollution corrupts (purity) our environment. Pollution is a disease of our own making.
flamingsword: Aziraphale, the flaming sword, and Crowley (Default)
1. BPAL perfumes
2. My husband, Ghost
3. My friends being silly
4. Cuteness
5. People being nice
6. Flaky pastry
7. People being competent
8. Coffee with cream
9. Hugs
10. Getting letters in the mail
11. Music that shakes my butt
12. Hot baths
13. Soft beds
14. Warm rain
15. Cracktastic storytelling
16. Lightning
17. Playing with fire
18. Kicking higher than my head
19. Fireworks
20. Clever puns and metaphors
21. Joyous reunions
22. Introducing friends to good things
23. Beautiful dreams
24. Colorful sunsets
25. Seasonally inappropriate holiday music
26. Sneezes
27. Orgasms
28. Kisses
29. Making other people smile
30. Being a sap
flamingsword: Aziraphale, the flaming sword, and Crowley (Default)
Since today is Guy Fawkes Day, and nearing Election day, maybe it's time to get political with the gratitude posts. I am not someone who hates compromise, like so many of my generation have been taught to be. I can see that disenfranchising tactic for what it is: a way to alienate people from the political process. If you are trained to think part of governing is somehow dirty and inherently corrupting, you can be led to avoid the whole process that much easier, led to think of everyone involved with it as tainted and amoral instead of as human people doing what they can in difficult to reconcile circumstances. Compromise allows people with diverse needs and goals to coexist peacefully. At its heart, that's what politics IS.

Accepting a less than perfect solution as part of the way to an eventual better solution is seen as demeaning. But the subtle message that compromise in a situation is always equivalent to being treated as subhuman does not serve the interests of the electorate. It serves the interests of those willing to radicalize the few while dissociating the many. And that is a bargain those in power are willing to take.

So I am grateful for the compromise that lets me live in peace with those I disagree with. I am grateful for its part in the political system that protects me from those who hate me and would do me harm. And when polling time comes, I do my part to lead my country to the best compromises that we can find for it.

And for my place in this wider community, I am grateful, too.
flamingsword: Aziraphale, the flaming sword, and Crowley (Default)
I think the dream I had this morning was due to the news that Texas became a swing state in this election. I dreamed that teams were chosen to compete for who would win the presidency in a sporting match and women and LGBT people were Team Clinton. All of the men competing on Team Trump just happened to be white somehow. And narrowly, by speed and sneakiness and superior predictive ability on the field, we beat them.

I'm not going to pretend that this is a prophetic dream. But I would like it to be a predictive one.
flamingsword: None can take the stars who do not reach. (Take The Stars)
I feel really uninspired and uncommunicative lately. I think I may need to spend more time with my own thoughts and less time on social media to get back to having something to say.

I need to find my enthusiasm again after having had so little energy for so long. I need my opinions and curiosity. I have turned into this person I don't recognize, and some of it is okay, but I miss my other me. I don't feel like myself.

This me survived a hard thing and I am grateful. But now that those hatches don't have to be battened down, it's time for some new growth and some unfolding of previous growth.
flamingsword: Aziraphale, the flaming sword, and Crowley (Default)
On to the second post today!

I am bisexual, and despite having gay friends of the family growing up, it took me until I was seventeen to figure that out. Because nobody talked about it. Nobody talked about it being valid and normal to like both.

Despite having LIFE-RUINING CHRUSHES on female friends of mine starting at the age of thirteen, it took me four years to figure it out, because there is so little social validation. And that is ridiculous and deeply sad. So I now talk about bisexuality in front of young people and on social media so that maybe I can prevent this from happening to the next generation. And if you wanted to join in on that, we'll, that would be really helpful. Please pitch in to make the world less miserable.

And Don't Forget To Be Awesome.
flamingsword: Aziraphale, the flaming sword, and Crowley (Default)
Today I feel grateful that I am not depressed, that I don't have to do anything desperate to avoid it any more. I am glad for perfumes and for spicy sashimi salad and for fanfiction. I am grateful that I live and work among networks of caring people who have been there for me when I needed them. I am grateful for to do lists and calendars and smartphones that help me keep my life together. I am thankful for vitamins and research and neuroscience for what is currently keeping my brain above water and hopefully helping me heal years of damage.

I have problems, but I can manage them, and I am grateful for that, too.
flamingsword: Aziraphale, the flaming sword, and Crowley (Default)
So for a while Ghost and I had been having this problem where, since he is on reddit a lot and sees a lot of reportage on Donald Trump which he finds hilarious, and I have this thing where Donald Trump and incompetence in public service makes me annoyed and irritated, he had been telling me several things a day which he thought were funny and I thought were irritating to the point of slowly enraging. And it was slowly sensitizing me until every time I heard Trump's name I wanted to set something on fire. Fortunately I was able to identify this mis-gearing and limit his Trumpism communications down to a point where it no longer automatically makes me grind my teeth in an agony of frustration. Hurray for communication and foresight.

I went to the Dallas Arboretum on the 7th and bought seeds. I bought plants for the front flower pots so now I have an oregano, a chrysanthemum, a lantana, and a salvia in addition to the mint and catnip and aloe. I had the spoons to buy and plant them because I have had a couple more spoons per day since about a week and a half after starting the new vitamin regimen. Which reminds me that I need to get more PQQ. So yay for all of that.

One of my coworkers died over the weekend. She was very young. I don't know if she had a stroke or if she was a suicide or what happened, but it is a tragedy any way you look at it.

Life is, as always, a mixture of good and bad things. Hold tight to what is precious, and lift up your joys.
flamingsword: Aziraphale, the flaming sword, and Crowley (Default)
Since I went on the extended release version of topamax last April, I have lost 30 pounds. Let me tell you why I’m not happy about that.

I didn’t care when I was unfashionably heavy or when people judged me for my weight. (Except the doctors. That part pissed me off so much.) I care when I keep having to buy new pants. I care when my bras don’t fit. I care when this medication that keeps me from having a permanent headache is eventually going to make me underweight, at which point they will stop prescribing it to me, and there isn’t anything similar that doesn’t have the same side effects as far as I know.

And then the headaches will come back. My pain levels will rise back up and I may get to the point again where I’m in too much pain to drive and think and function.

So: The Plan. The plan is to use the time I have left on topamax to find things like l-carnitine that have any kind of evidence that they spur regeneration in the brain. If you see any article that makes such a claim, could you forward it to me? Even if you think I’ve seen it, even if it may be bullshit. I’ll be doing a lot of research for this and spending my free monies on vitamins instead of fun stuff, but I am determined to make this work.

So far I have got PQQ, ubiquinol, taurine, b-1, and phosphatidyl Serine in addition to the l-carnitine and b-12/2/3/6/pantothenic acid supplements. ZOMG pillz. Wish me luck, and forward me links.
flamingsword: Aziraphale, the flaming sword, and Crowley (Default)
So I've been reading the book SuperFreakonomics, but I'm giving up on it, as I can feel myself getting dumber through sheer frustration. I want to learn about economics but so far there have been two barriers: 1. It's not a science, despite what it claims, and 2. It's dead boring, mostly. I had hoped a book with a wacky title would take care of the latter, and it has been interesting. But not enough to overcome my antipathy to it's many correlation/causation confusions.

I also checked out Hillary Clinton's book Hard Choices, about her time as Secretary of State, which I am expecting to learn at least a bit of modern statecraft from, yet another area in which my education is lacking. I have a lot more faith in HRC than in an economist, at any rate.
flamingsword: Aziraphale, the flaming sword, and Crowley (Default)
The Dating Rituals of Superheroes (The Role Reversal Remix) by igrockspock
In hindsight, when Maria asked Sam out, she shouldn’t have brought flowers or aimed for the traditional dinner invitation. After her first attempt failed, she shouldn’t have enlisted Natasha as a matchmaker.

How to use cognitive behavioral therapy to change a negative belief to a positive one. Includes journalling evidence and progress.

flamingsword: Aziraphale, the flaming sword, and Crowley (Default)
Let's get meta: I am grateful that meditating on what I am thankful for trains my brain to be able to better see the good things in my life. I am grateful for positive psychology and the study of good mental health practices. I am glad that people put stuff on the internet for free so that I can use it to make good choices.

I am thankful for baths, and trees, and BPAL's Hearth '05 which smells of the winter from inside by the fire. For chocolate, and toothpaste, and duvet covers. For hair dye and my willingness to use it.


flamingsword: Aziraphale, the flaming sword, and Crowley (Default)

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